I 


T 

CHARLES  Ross  JA 

^W  ^h.  %^ 


TUCKER    DAN 


•  ^  ..-"•'•' 


1   He  received  an  over-ripe  apple 
on  the  side  of  his  neck." — Page  12. 


Frontispiece 


TUCKER    DAN 


By 
CHARLES  ROSS  JACKSON 


ILLUSTRATIONS  BY  GORDON  H.  GRANT 


G.  W.  DILLINGHAM  COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS  NEW  YORK 


COPYRIGHT,  1905,  BY 
G.  W.  DILLINGHAM  COMPANY 

Issued  May,  1905 
Tucker  Dan 


Dedicated  to 
Those  who  have  been  Boys  or  Girls 


CONTENTS 

I.  Two  OF  A  KIND 1 1 

II.  UNCLE  BINNY  TAKES  A  SWIM  .         .         .28 

III.  UNCLE  BINNY'S  RETURN  HOME         .         .44 

IV.  UNCLE  BINNY  LOSES  CASTE      ...       56 
V.  THE  DOCTOR  INTERVIEWS  MICKEY   .         .       67 

VI.  UNCLE  BINNY'S  MISTAKE         .         .         .       78 

VII.  AT  THE  HOSPITAL  .         .         .         .91 

VIII.  AN  ATTACK  OF  THE  GOUT       .         .         .104 

IX.  TUCK  SEES  THE  DOCTOR          .         .         .116 

X.  FLAHERTY  GETS  A  LESSON        .         .         .     1 3 1 

XI.  A  BRACE  OF  LOVERS       .         .         .         .145 

XII.  HENRY'S  BUSY  DAY        .         .  .     158 

XIII.  FOUR  HEARTS        .         .         .         .  •      .     174 

XIV.  TUCK'S  DINNER 185 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


He  received  an  over-ripe  apple  on  the  side  of  his 

neck,  (Frontispiece)         ....     Page     12 

"  Look  at  those  trousers,"  he  whispered        .        "      38 

The  scene  that  ensued  was  the  liveliest  of  the 

day "55 

The  gun  was  loaded  with  bird  shot      .  "      89 

With  a  can  of  fresh  red  paint       .         .         .        "138 
Salvina  and  Augusta  were  there  .         .         .        "164 


TUCKER  DAN 

CHAPTER  ONE 

TWO  OF  A  KIND 

OU  Tuck — 'f  you  don't  come 
off'n  that  perch,  and  come 
off  quick,  I'll  stick  this 
pitchfork  into  you." 

Tuck  thumped  his  bare 
heels  together,  bent  over  so 
that  he  could  keep  his  bal- 
ance on  the  thin  upper  edge  of  the  fence, 
and  shook  his  head. 

"  Nope,  Uncle  Binny ;  the  stomach  ain't 
the  place  to  stick  a  fellow ;  I'm  wrong  side 
to." 

"  I'll    teach  you  !  "  exclaimed  the  old 
man  as  he  lunged  with  the  pitchfork  in  a 
well-simulated  temper. 
11 


Tucker  Dan 

Tuck  did  not  wait,  but  threw  up  his 
legs  and  fell  gracefully  backwards  over 
the  fence  into  the  hay  that  he  knew  was 
beyond.  And  then  as  Uncle  Binny 
peered  cautiously  over  he  received  an 
over-ripe  apple  on  the  side  of  his  neck, 
and  saw  his  nephew  Tucker  making  for 
the  barn  like  a  streak  of  lightning,  shout- 
ing as  he  ran, 

"  Help,  help, — help,  Uncle  Binny." 

The  old  man  did  not  stop  to  take  the 
remains  of  the  apple  from  his  neck,  but 
dropping  his  pitchfork,  made  for  the 
swinging  gate  in  the  distance  which  he 
knew  that  Tucker  would  have  to  pass  in 
order  to  make  his  escape  from  the  farm. 

But  many  previous  escapades  of  the 
kind  had  sharpened  Tuck's  wits  and 
made  him  something  of  a  general.  Be- 
sides he  had  not  anticipated  exactly  that 
the  apple  would  make  such  a  perceptible 
hit ;  and  was  reluctant  to  claim  the  full 
12 


Two  of  a  Kind 

credit  for  it.  He  dashed  through  the 
barn,  saw  Mr.  Binny  awaiting  him,  and 
tearing  off  his  jacket  with  a  quick  motion 
as  he  ran,  flung  it  unexpectedly  into  his 
elder's  already  much  abused  face ;  and  in 
the  confusion  that  followed  slipped  out  of 
the  gate,  leaving  part  of  a  suspender, 
some  shirt  and  some  hair  in  Uncle 
Binny's  hands. 

"  Tucker  Dan,  when  you  come  back  I'll 
skin  you  alive,"  said  the  exasperated  old 
gentleman  fiercely. 

"  He's  madder'n  a  hornet  this  time," 
murmured  Tuck  to  himself.  "  I'll  dust." 
And  he  dusted,  looking  neither  to  right, 
left,  nor  behind,  but  charging  straight 
ahead  for  the  woods.  He  leaped  a  brook 
and  pushed  his  way  through  a  corn-field 
in  utter  silence  ;  then  from  the  safe  edge 
of  the  woods  he  glanced  back. 

"  He's  got  my  coat,  and  I  ain't  got  my 
shoes ;  but  I'll  not  go  back.  I  think 
13 


Tucker  Dan 

I'll  spend  the  night  with  Mickey  Con- 
nor." 

Meanwhile  Uncle  Binny  cleaned  his 
neck  and  returned  to  the  house.  "  I 
wouldn't  'a'  hurt  the  scallawag  for  any- 
thing, but  I  just  had  to  make  him  think 
I  would. — *  Wrong  side  to  !  the  stomach 
ain't  the  place  to  stick  a  feller  ' — ha,  ha. 
No  more  it  ain't  either.  That  Tucker  is 
surely  a  chip  of  the  old  block." 

Tuck  was  thirteen  years  old,  ten  of 
which  had  been  passed  with  Uncle  Binny 
and  his  wife  Aunt  Amy.  He  had  come 
to  them  as  an  orphan,  the  son  of  Binny's 
sister  and  a  seafaring  husband  of  the 
name  of  Pils.  Tuck's  surname  therefore 
was  Pils  ;  but  it  was  rarely  used  in  his 
presence — by  his  juniors  at  least.  When 
used  by  his  elders  Tuck  did  not  mind  so 
much,  unless  they  used  his  other  names 
at  the  same  time.  Tucker  Dan  Pils  was 
all  the  boy  would  stand  from  anybody. 


Two  of  a  Kind 

His  Aunt  Amy  called  him  that  twice 
when  he  was  ten ;  and  Tucker,  delving 
into  the  family  Bible  discovered  that  her 
name  was  really  Amelia  Aurania  ;  so  the 
next  time  she  called  him  Tucker  Dan 
Pils  he  christened  her  Aunt  A.  A. — after 
the  two  first  letters  of  these  names.  Aunt 
Amy  had  immediately  changed  to  "  Tuck 
dear  " — but  it  was  too  late.  The  nick- 
name stuck,  and  the  family  knew  her 
thereafter  as  Aunt  A.  A. 

When  Uncle  Binny  reached  the  house 
his  wife  looked  him  over  earnestly,  and 
then  smiled  knowingly.  "  Binny — what 
you  been  up  to  ?  " 

"  I've  been  trying  to  wallop  that  Tuck," 
he  said.  There  was  still  some  of  the  ap- 
ple on  his  collar,  and  as  Aunt  Amy 
caught  sight  of  it  she  laughed. 

"Nothing  of  the  kind,  Binny.      You 
know  you  wouldn't  wallop  that  young- 
ster if  you  did  catch  him." 
15 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Well,  mother,  he  needs  it." 

"  Maybe  he  does.  But  bless  him,  ain't 
he  chopped  all  that  wood  for  you  on 
Monday ;  an'  milked  the  cow ;  an'  been 
awful  good  this  week  ?  " 

"  Has  he  ?  Bless  him — didn't  he  chop 
his  own  big  toe  when  he  chopped  the 
wood?  Didn't  I  pay  Doc  a  dollar  for 
saying  it  wasn't  dangerous  ? — And  didn't 
he  drink  half  the  milk,  and  spill  the 
other  half  into  his  own  stomach  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Binny  ;  but  boys  will  be  boys." 

"That  don't  excuse  'em  for  being 
calves." 

"  Binny !  " 

"Amelia ! " 

And  thus  it  was  that  many  a  mild 
quarrel  over  the  boy  terminated. 

All  this  time  Tuck,  speeding  through 

the  woods,  was  thinking  of  the  sound 

the  squashed  apple  had  made  as  it  had 

landed   on   Uncle  Binny's    neck.      The 

'   16 


Two  of  a  Kind 


episode  had  ceased  to  seem  humorous. 
He  had  every  reason  to  believe  that  Uncle 
could  skin  a  boy  if  he  felt  so  inclined  ;  so 
he  made  through  the  woods  for  Mickey's 
house  on  the  outskirts  of  the  town  with 
undiminished  speed. 

When  in  sight  of  the  kitchen  door 
he  whistled  softly — "  phll-u  phll-u "  a 
couple  of  times,  and  was  quickly  rewarded 
by  the  appearance  of  a  sun-browned, 
roughly-clad  youngster,  perhaps  fourteen, 
who,  as  soon  as  he  saw  Tuck's  injured 
shirt  and  suspender,  realized  that  some- 
thing was  wrong.  He  signaled  Tuck  to 
hide  behind  the  barn,  and  then  began, 
boylike,  to  manoeuvre  in  that  direction 
so  as  not  to  excite  suspicion  from  his  lady 
mother  in  the  kitchen.  Seizing  the 
bucket  he  started  for  the  well ;  but  on  ar- 
riving there  suddenly  made  the  astonish- 
ing discovery  that  one  of  the  boards 
needed  nailing.  He  volunteered  the  in- 
IT 


Tucker  Dan 

formation  to  his  mother,  and  dashed  into 
the  barn  for  nails — and  a  closer  view  of 
friend  Tuck,  who  it  was  plain  to  see,  was 
in  an  unusually  bad  fix  of  some  kind. 

"  Cheese  it,  Tuck ;  me  mother'll  get 
you  spotted.  What's  up  ?  "  he  whispered 
breathlessly. 

"  Say,  Mickey,  the  old  man's  after  me  ; 
he'll  skin  me  this  time  sure.  I  want 
my  shoes  and  stockings  and  my  coat," 
came  in  an  answering  whisper. 

"  Go  an'  get  'em,  then." 

"  Not  on  your  life  ; — you  go  an'  get  'em 
for  me.  Then  I'll  spend  the  night  with 
you,  and  we'll  go  to  school  together  to- 
morrow." 

"We  will  not — we  will  not,  Tucker 
Dan.  You  get  your  own  clothes  and  we 
will  play  hookey  to-morrow." 

Tucker  had  failed  to  work  the  astute 
Mickey  as  easily  as  he  had  thought ;  but 
he  tried  another  scheme. 
18 


Two  of  a  Kind 

"  Mickey  Connor,  you  come  over  to 
my  place  and  tell  Nunc  Binny  that  you 
think  I  was  hurted  on  the  road  in  an 
accident, — tell  him  it  looked  like  me. 
Then  when  they're  gone  after  me  I'll 
hook  my  own  clothes." 

Mickey  grinned,  and  grabbing  a  hand- 
ful of  nails  and  a  hammer,  walked  to  the 
well  with  friend  Tucker.  Together  they 
nailed  down  all  the  boards  that  needed 
nailing,  and  about  a  dozen  that  didn't 
need  anything  whatever ;  and  then  Mickey 
boldly  told  his  mother  that  Tuck  was  go- 
ing to  stay  over  night  with  him,  but  that 
they  were  first  going  back  to  get  Tuck's 
shoes. 

Mrs.  Connor  raised  no  objection.  Had 
not  the  pair  nailed  down  the  well  boards 
for  her — a  thing  long  needed  ?  Besides, 
the  Binnys  were  more  prosperous  than 
the  Connors.  If  Mrs.  Connor  wondered 
when  she  saw  Tuck's  ruptured  suspender 
19 


Tucker  Dan 

and  torn  shirt  she  said  nothing  about 
them. 

The  two  schemers  started  back  to- 
wards Uncle  Binny's,  whistling  a  chorus. 
Mickey  spoke  first. 

"  Tuck,  when  you  want  to  work  any- 
body, just  be  good  to  'em." 

"Yep;  but  there  ain't  any  loose 
well  boards  around  our  place,"  answered 
Tucker  Dan  as  he  swaggered  along  chew- 
ing a  piece  of  grass ;  "  Aunt  Amy  ain't 
so  easy." 

"  Maybe  she  ain't  easy  ;  but  you  always 
wanter  sit  down  an'  think  how  to  get 
along  without  making  a  fuss,  Tuck." 

"  Sure ;  but  when  Nunc  Binny  gets 
through  with  me  this  time  I'll  have  to 
do  my  thinking  standing  up,"  said 
Tucker  reflectively. 

Mickey  chortled  ;  and  the  two  started 
on  an  easy  dog-trot  through  the  woods, 
discussing  how  best  to  get  possession  of 
20 


Two  of  a  Kind 

the  missing  and  necessary  articles  of 
apparel. 

It  was  dark  when  they  arrived  in  view 
of  the  Binny  homestead  ;  but  through  the 
distant  windows  they  could  see  the  supper 
waiting.  Aunt  Amy  was  uneasily  pacing 
up  and  down,  and  now  and  then  gesticu- 
lating towards  Uncle  Binny. 

"  They're  worried,"  exclaimed  Mickey. 

"  Yep ;  and  Nunc  Binny's  getting  the 
deuce,  but  if  I  was  such  a  fool  as  to  go  in 
now  they'd  set  on  me  together.  Start 
the  ball  rolling,  Mickey." 

"  All  right ;  but  if  I  get  caught  and 
licked  I'll  take  it  out  of  you,  Tucker 
Dan." 

"  Sure,"  was  the  grinning  answer ;  "  and 
if  you  get  caught  and  licked,  you  and 
Nunc  Binny  can  start  a  search  for  me." 

A  period  of  a  minute  or  so  elapsed  in 
silence  as  Mickey  screwed  up  his  courage 
to  "  start  the  ball  rolling."  Tucker  mean- 
21 


Tucker  Dan 

while  disappeared  by  a  circuitous  route  to 
another  side  of  the  house. 

Suddenly  Mickey  began  to  jump  up  and 
down,  and  throw  dirt  upon  himself  in  the 
dark.  "  I  got  to  look  like  I've  been  run- 
ning to  beat  the  band,"  he  exclaimed 
to  himself.  Then  starting  pell-mell  for 
the  distant  house,  leaping  the  brook  and 
wetting  his  clothes  purposely,  he  rushed 
up  to  the  kitchen  door,  and  slammed  it 
behind  him  as  he  staggered  across  to  the 
dining-room.  There  he  leaned  against 
the  wall  and  gurgled  an  unintelligible 
something  at  Mr.  Binny. 

He  looked  as  though  he  had  run  a  mile 
over  all  kinds  of  obstructions,  and  the 
Binnys  knew  in  a  moment  that  some- 
thing dreadful  had  happened.  They 
seized  him,  set  him  on  a  chair  and 
fanned  him,  and  Aunt  Amy  offered 
him  a  drink. 

He  took  the  tumbler  and  purposely 
22 


Two  of  a  Kind 

drank  the  liquid  slowly.  As  he  had 
said,  he  did  his  best  thinking  when  he 
was  sitting  down. 

"  What's  the  matter,  Connor?  What's 
—  what's — has  anything  happened  to 
Tucker  ? "  exclaimed  the  Binnys  in 
chorus. 

"  He's — he's — oh  gosh,  he's  outside 
there  on  the  road. — Automobile,"  gasped 
Mickey. 

"  An  accident !  "  shrieked  Aunt  Amy. 

"  Did  you  say  an  automobile  accident?  " 
queried  Uncle  Binny,  knowing  full  well 
that  no  automobile  could  go  on  the  road 
near  by. 

Mickey  felt  his  mistake  and  sat  down 
harder.  "  No,"  he  cried.  "  Run  down 
by  wagon — boy  looks  like  Tuck  ;  they 
picked  him  up  an'  carried  him  to  the 
corners,  an'  an  automobile  took  him  to 
town  an'  to  de  hospital." 

Poor  Uncle  Binny  and  Aunt  Amy 
23 


Tucker  Dan 

grabbed  their  hats,  and  Mickey  led  the 
way  across  lots  to  the  woods.  Uncle 
Binny  had  dropped  all  his  suspicions,  for 
he  saw  as  he  left  the  house  that  Mickey 
was  crying. 

"  Maybe  he'll  have  to  have  a  leg  took 
off; — it  was  awful  like  Tuck;  when  I 
seen  him  look  so  dreadful  I  just  took  a 
fly  over  here,"  exclaimed  the  guide  as  he 
led  the  distracted  uncle  and  aunt  deeper 
into  the  woods.  "  I'll  run  ahead,"  he 
continued ;  "just  turn  to  the  right — 
that's  the  corners.  I  want  to  see  Tuck." 

Mickey  bounded  ahead,  disappeared 
from  view  and  then  doubled  on  his 
tracks  back  to  the  Binny  home ;  while 
the  two  nearest  relatives  of  Tucker  Dan 
took  a  passing  carriage  and  were  driven 
to  the  hospital. 

Meanwhile  Tuck  clad  himself  properly 
at  home,  and  then  went  out  into  the  night 
to  join  Mickey ;  but  before  he  left  he 
24 


Two  of  a  Kind 

placed  a  new  huckleberry-pie  from  the 
shelf  in  Uncle  Binny's  chair  at  the  table. 
This  chair  was  an  upholstered  affair 
which  had  recently  been  presented  to  its 
owner  by  the  members  of  his  lodge,  in 
recognition  of  the  high  esteem  in  which 
they  held  his  teachings.  Uncle  Binny 
loved  that  chair,  and  Tucker  hated  it. 

Later  when  the  Binnys  returned  they 
came  in  silence,  and  in  silence  Aunt  Amy 
took  her  seat  at  table.  Uncle  Binny 
paced  the  floor  calmly  and  reflectively. 
Finally  the  lady  broke  the  quietude. 

"  George  Binny — to  think  that  we've 
been  faked  by  that  young  Connor  scamp. 
Aren't  you  ashamed  when  you  think  how 
you  blubbered  at  the  hospital  when  you 
asked  for  Tucker?" 

The  old  man  looked  angrily  at  his 
wife ;  then  he  sat  down  in  his  nice  up- 
holstered chair  and  drew  himself  towards 
the  table. 

25 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Let  us  eat,  Amy  ;  at  all  events  the 
boy's  probably  alive.  It  beats  the  Dutch 
how  glad  I  am  to  sit  in  this  soft  chair 
again  ;  it's  the  comfortablest  chair  I  ever 
sat  in.  It  seems  especially  soft  to-night." 
Then  he  stretched  and  sorrowfully  re- 
marked— "  But  where  has  Tucker  Dan 
been?  where  is  he  now,  I  wonder?" 

He  hesitated  as  a  curious  and  clammy 
sensation  stealthily  overcame  him.  Next 
moment  he  war-whooped,  and  Aunt  Amy 
stood  up  with  him.  She  gave  one  gasp  as 
she  pointed  to  the  clinging  huckle  berries. 

"  Thank  heaven,  the  boy's  safe,  any- 
way, Binny,"  she  cried  hysterically. 
"  Read  your  answer :  Tucker  Dan  has 
been  here." 

Two  boys  watching  results  from  a  dis- 
tance disappeared  by  the  milky  light  of 
the  moon. 

Said  Tucker  to  Mickey  as  they  went 
to  bed  that  night  in  the  latter's  bed, 
26 


Two  of  a  Kind 

"  Just  call  me  if  Nunc  Binny  comes. 
I  got  to  be  a  man,  and  take  my  licking." 

"  Sure ; — you'll  get  it,"  said  Mickey  ; 
"  an'  if  you  get  blistered  use  molasses  an' 
cream  ;  dat's  wot  I  used  last  time." 


27 


CHAPTER  TWO 


UNCLE  BINNY  TAKES  A  SWIM 

NCLE  Binny  didn't  lie  awake 
that  night  wondering  where 
the  absent  boy  was,  for  he 
knew  full  well  that  he  was 
stopping  with  his  friend 
Mickey.  Instead  he  slept 
the  sleep  of  an  honest  but 
injured  man.  Once  he  awoke  and 
thought  of  the  upholstered  chair ;  and 
then  he  made  up  his  mind  that  he  would 
square  the  account  in  an  unexpected 
manner.  He  would  catch  the  boys  the 
next  day  on  the  beach,  a  mile  across  the 
harbor,  where  he  was  sure  they  would  go 
to  play  hookey  and  have  a  clambake. 
He  had  been  a  boy  forty-five  years  ago, 
and  it  was  just  the  thing  then  as  it  was 
28 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swtm 


now  to  skip  school,  sail  across  the  bay  to 
the  beach,  and  there  hunt  for  clams  and 
bake  them  in  fresh  seaweed  thrown  over 
a  fire  made  in  a  hole  in  the  sand.  Uncle 
Binny  was  close  mouthed,  and  after 
breakfast  started  off  on  his  errand,  armed 
with  a  good  serviceable  whip  under  his 
coat  and  a  lunch  prepared  by  Aunt  Amy, 
who  divined  the  truth  but  said  never  a 
word.  There  was  quiet  balminess  in  the 
air,  the  birds  chirped  and  the  cows  gazed 
reflectively  at  him  as  he  cut  across  the 
farm  towards  town  ;  but  there  was  danger 
in  Uncle  Binny  this  time. 

When  the  green  upholstered  chair  had 
turned  to  huckleberry  purple,  other 
things  had  also  changed.  No  longer 
would  Tucker  Dan  be  dealt  leniently 
with.  No  longer  would  Aunt  Amy  have 
anything  to  do  in  spoiling  the  discipline 
of  his  ward.  No,  he,  Uncle  Binny,  would 
catch  Tucker  ;  and  then  Tucker  would 
29 


Tucker  Dan 

catch  something  worse  than  a  cold. 
Thus  mused  Mr.  Binny  as  he  wandered 
through  town  to  the  head  of  the  beach, 
where  it  swung  round  and  joined  the 
mainland.  He  would  stalk  the  quarry 
from  the  unexpected  quarter.  He  would 
hide  in  the  scrub  that  grew  on  the  harbor 
side  of  the  beach  and  catch  the  boys  as 
they  came  from  the  ocean  side,  and  their 
dips  in  the  briny  deep  which  he  felt  sure 
they  would  take. 

Uncle  Binny  created  a  great  sensation 
as  he  passed  the  post-office  in  his  Sunday 
trousers  and  his  workaday  coat,  a  combi- 
nation made  necessary  by  ,the  thought- 
less sitting  on  the  huckleberries.  Some 
of  the  old  boys  of  fifty  or  thereabouts 
poked  fun  at  him  behind  his  back,  for 
old  boys  are  similar  to  young  ones,  and 
Binny  was  known  far  and  wide  and 
well. 

But  the  sensation  that  Mr.  George 
30 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


Binny  made  when  he  went,  wasn't  a  cir- 
cumstance to  the  sensation  that  he  was 
to  make  that  night  upon  his  return  :  but 
nobody  can  look  ahead  very  far,  and  he 
was  no  exception.  He  thought  he  was 
going  to  get  the  better  of  Tucker  Dan — 
but  we  shall  see. 

Meanwhile  the  boys  went  towards 
school,  leaving  Mrs.  Connor  well  satis- 
fied with  the  friendship  that  caused  her 
boy  to  associate  with  Tucker  Dan ;  for 
he  was  better  off  than  the  average  village 
boy — being  really  a  Binny  to  all  intents 
and  purposes. 

In  half  an  hour  the  two  were  in  an 
old  boat  and  rowing  across  the  harbor 
towards  the  beach. 

"  Hully  gee  ! — your  Uncle  Binny  must 
'a'  been  kinder  discouraged,  Tuck ;  he 
never  came  after  you,"  exclaimed  Mickey 
as  he  strained  at  an  oar. 

"  That  means  nothing — 'cept  he  don't 
31 


Tucker  Dan 

want  to  wear  his  Sunday  pants.  He's 
waiting  round " 

"  He — he — haw "  chuckled  Mickey 

as  he  caught  a  crab,  and  fell  backwards 
into  the  bottom  of  the  boat. 

"  Shucks  !  I  thought  you  could  row," 
remarked  Tucker.  "  There  ain't  any  use 
flipflapping  in  the  bottom  of  this  boat 
when  you  can  row." 

"  Quit  yer  kiddin' ;  I  makes  mistakes 
just  like  any  other  feller.  You  never 
caught  a  crab,  did  you  ?  " 

"  Naw,"  exclaimed  the  other  disdain- 
fully, and  in  such  a  superior  manner  that 
his  friend  vowed  secret  vengeance. 

As  they  neared  the  beach  Mickey,  be- 
ing in  the  bow,  ordered  Tucker  to  pull 
hard  while  he  used  an  oar  to  guide  the 
boat  ashore.  Tuck  bent  well  forward  and 
took  a  mighty  heave ;  and  Mickey,  by  a 
deft  movement  of  his  own  oar,  lifted  one 
of  the  rowers'  oars  just  as  he  started  to 
32 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 

pull.  Tucker  Dan  took  a  beautiful  crab 
— landed  on  the  forward  seat  on  the  back 
of  his  left  ear,  carromed  across  the  bot- 
tom of  the  boat,  and  doubled  up  between 
the  seats  like  a  poorly  stuffed  pillow. 

"  Jiminy,"  exclaimed  the  guilty  Mickey 
as  he  stood,  oar  in  hand,  and  fended  the 
bow  of  the  boat  from  land — "  Jiminy 
crickets,  how  de  blazes  did  you  do  that  ? 
— what  kinder  thing  do  you  call  that  ?  " 

"  Skinny  Mick,"  exclaimed  Tucker  Dan 
as  he  pulled  himself  on  to  the  after  seat 
and  looked  his  companion  over  carefully, 
"  you  know  darn  well  how  I  did  that — 
an'  it'll  cost  you  something." 

"  That  what— that  crab  ?  " 

"  No,  Skinny  Mick,  that  wasn't  a  crab ; 
that  was  a  whale,  and  I'll  get  even." 

"  Whale "  Mickey  chuckled  so 

that  he  forgot  the  challenge  implied  in 

the    title    "  Skinny    Mick "   which   was 

never  used  towards  him  except  as  a  dare. 

33 


Tucker  Dan 

He  laughed  so  that  Tucker  began  to  smile 
too,  and  thus  the  clouds  blew  over  as 
they  waded  to  shore  and  beached  the 
boat. 

The  sands  on  the  ocean  side  were  firm 
and  the  beach  a  mile  or  more  in  length  ; 
so,  shoes  and  stockings  in  hand,  they 
made  for  the  extreme  point  near  the 
lighthouse  and  began  to  collect  clams, 
seaweed  and  sticks,  and  soon  had  the 
bake  under  way. 

It  was  early  yet,  and  a  swim  was  in 
order  before  the  clams  would  be  ready. 
The  two  undressed  and  waded  out  into 
the  sea,  and  sat  down  to  let  the  old  At- 
lantic roll  over  them.  They  had  gone 
out  to  their  shoulders  and  ducked  once  or 
twice  when  suddenly  Mickey  exclaimed, 

"  We  ain't  the  only  ones  on  this  beach 
— there  are  other  pebbles." 

Tucker  looked  in  the  direction  indi- 
cated and  dimly  saw  a  man  wading  in 
34 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


for  a  swim,  some  hundreds  of  yards 
further  down  the  beach.  It  was  Uncle 
Binny  who,  arriving  at  the  beach  and 
seeing  no  one,  had  decided  to  take  a 
plunge  himself  before  the  boys  came, 
which  he  figured  would  not  be  for  an 
hour  yet.  Tucker  didn't  know  it  was 
Uncle  Binny,  but  he  did  know  it  was  a 
good  opportunity. 

"  Get  in — get  in  and  dress,"  he  shouted 
to  Mickey,  and  together  they  rushed 
ashore  unobserved  and  donned  their 
clothes  behind  a  sand  dune.  "  Say,  Mick, 
how  do  you  feel?"  queried  Tucker  as 
they  finished. 

"  Fine !— how's  yerself  ?  " 

"  Iligant !  My  back  feels  like  a  piece 
er  sand  paper ; "  and  Tucker  shook  the 
wet  sand  loose  under  his  clothes. 

"  My  stomach  feels  like  a  balloon  ;  let's 
eat  clams." 

"  Not  on  your  life,  Mickey,  not  yet ; 
35 


Tucker  Dan 

wait  till  we  fix  that  lonesome  jay  down 
there." 

"  Sure,"  answered  Connor ;  "  but  what 
do  you  wanter  do  ?  Must  be  something 
great  the  way  you  skun  outer  the  salty 
deep." 

"  Get  his  clothes.  Any  jay  that'll 
bathe  on  this  beach  without  his  clothes 
in  sight  needs  reforming." 

Mickey  glanced  down  the  beach  and 
saw  that  no  pile  of  clothes  was  visible. 

"Jumpin'  crickets,"  he  exclaimed, 
"he's  left  them  on  the  harbor-side, — 
hooray ! " 

"  Shut  up ;  we'll  go  find  'em  and 
hide  'em ;  and  then  we'll  skin  back 
here  and  sit  in  the  boat  an'  have  a 
clam,"  said  the  younger  but  leading 
spirit,  Tucker. 

Silently  they  stole  behind  the  sand- 
dunes  on  the  harbor  side  back  to  where 
the  clothes  were  found.  Mickey  kept 
36 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


watch  on  the  bather  far  out  in  the  shal- 
low water  disporting  himself  like  a  water 
nymph. 

"  He's  an  old  guy ;  his  head  is  bald, 
but  he  can  swim  like  a  porpoise." 

"  He  can — can  he  ? "  mused  Tuck. 
"I'll  bet  dollars  to  clams  that  he  can 
swear  like  a  trooper ;  wait  an'  see  when 
he  comes  out."  Then  Tucker  grabbed 
all  but  the  coat,  shirt  and  shoes,  and 
made  for  the  boat. 

"  I'll  leave  him  enough  to  go  home  in," 
he  explained ;  "  come  on,  Mickey,  and 
let's  hide  'em  up  the  beach." 

"Hook  it;  he's  getting  enough,"  vol- 
unteered Mickey  ;  "  he's  airing  himself 
on  the  beach  now — drying  off." 

Stealthily  they  rowed  up  to  where  the 
clams  were  steaming,  and  eating  a  few, 
set  off  to  hide  the  clothes  behind  a  sand- 
dune.  Suddenly  Tucker  Dan  seized 
Mickey  by  the  back  of  the  neck. 
37 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Look  at  those  trousers,"  he  whispered, 
"  look  at  that  vest,  that  watch — that — 
that  charm." 

"  Hully  smoke !  yer  Uncle  Binny's  !  " 

The  two  boys  lay  down  and  peered 
over  the  edge  of  a  dune,  hiding  their 
heads  behind  the  long  beach  grass. 

"  That's  Nunc  Binny,  sure ;  that's  his 
bald  cocoanut,"  murmured  Tucker  Dan, 
"  an'  he's  hopping  mad,  too." 

By  this  time  Uncle  Binny  had  dis- 
covered his  loss  and  was  tearing  around 
the  beach  on  the  double  quick,  with  a 
shirt  and  coat  in  one  hand  and  a  pair  of 
shoes  in  the  other. 

"  He  ain't  in  no  hurry  to  dress,"  re- 
marked Mickey.  "  Gee  whittiker,  Tuck, 
look  at  him  take  that  header." 

Uncle  Binny  had  stubbed  his  toe  on  a 
clam  shell,  and  was  sliding  along  the 
hard  beach  on  his  naked  chest. 

"  He's  an  athlete,"  said  Tucker  proudly. 
38 


Look  at  those  trousers,' 
he  whispered." — Page  38. 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


"  He  always  did  tell  how  he  could  do 
stunts  when  he  was  young." 

Uncle  Binny  was  now  sitting  on  the 
beach  near  the  water's  edge  holding  his 
toe  in  his  hands  and  yelling  like  a  wild 
man  with  anger  and  mortification.  Sud- 
denly he  bethought  himself  to  don  his 
shirt  and  coat,  and  his  shoes. 

"  He's  in  fighting  trim  now,"  mur- 
mured Mickey  uneasily,  as  Mr.  Binny 
seized  a  piece  of  driftwood  and  started  off 
on  the  double  quick  looking  for  the 
thieves.  The  wind  was  blowing  fresh, 
and  Uncle  Binny,  dressed  in  the  shirt, 
coat  and  shoes,  was  making  good  speed 
against  it  towards  the  head  of  the  beach 
away  from  the  boys. 

"  He  looks  like  a  ship  under  full  sail," 
commented  Mickey  as  he  saw  the  bellow- 
ing of  the  shirt. 

"  Yep,  but  he's  top  heavy  ;  he'd  better 
take  a  reef  or  he'll  get  blown  over," 
39 


Tucker  Dan 

was    the    answer. — "  Gee,   but   can't  he 
sail  ?  " 

The  two  miscreants  ate  clams  and 
watched  the  lone  searcher  as  he  sped 
away  down  the  beach  against  the  wind. 
Suddenly  Mr.  George  Binny  gave  up  the 
chase  in  that  direction  and  turned  back. 
The  wind  was  behind  him  now  and  it 
was  easy  running.  Tucker  Dan  had  a 
hot  clam  half-way  down  his  throat  when 
he  saw  that  the  lone  runner  had  turned 
and  was  heading  for  them.  Uncle  Binny 
was  nearly  half  a  mile  off  and  had  evi- 
dently spied  the  slight  smoke  from  the 
clambake. 

"  Cheese  it,"  exclaimed  Tuck  as  he 
coughed  up  the  half-swallowed  clam  ; 
"  there  comes  the  Flying  Dutchman — an' 
the  wind's  with  him." 

Mickey   gave   a   frightened  look  back 
and   the  two  boys  skedaddled  into  the 
boat  with  the  clothes. 
40 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


"  Take  'em  along,"  commanded  Tucker 
Dan ;  "  it's  all  we  have,  you  know, 
Mickey,  to  prove  that  Uncle  Binny's 
been  drownded  on  the  beach." 

Mickey  shrieked  with  delight  at  the 
new  developments  he  foresaw.  Together 
the  boys  rowed  for  the  farthest  land- 
ing, down  the  harbor  and  away  from  the 
village. 

When  Mr.  Binny,  stick  in  hand, 
reached  the  clambake  the  two  boys  were 
too  far  away  to  understand  a  word  he 
said.  Mickey  remarked  that  it  sounded 
like  French.  "He'll  tan  you  when  he 
gets  you,  Tuck." 

"Sure — but  the  sun'll  tan  him  first. 
Did  you  ever  see  such  a  stunt  in  your  life, 
Mickey  ?  " 

"  Never ;  say,  Tucker,  your  Nunc  Binny 
needs  an  American  flag  to  wrap  round 
him." 

By  this  time  Mr.  George  Binny  was 
41 


Tucker  Dan 

doing  a  solitary  two  step  on  the  top  of  a 
sand-dune,  and  pointing  wildly  at  him- 
self. Pretending  not  to  have  seen  him, 
both  boys  rowed  steadily  for  the  opposite 
shore  where  they  landed  and  thought  it 
all  over. 

"  We  better  let  people  think  he  was 
drownded;  that'll  make  a  fuss,"  said 
Tucker  Dan. 

"  Sure  !— but  it'll  be  an  awful  lie." 

"  Leave  that  to  me.  You  say  what  I 
tell  you  to  say,  an'  it'll  only  be  a  white 
lie ;  they  don't  count,"  said  Tuck  as  he 
threw  a  stone  carelessly  into  a  near  by 
tree. 

"  All  right,  and  when  they  come  to 
find  him  he'll  run  like  a  deer  again,"  and 
both  the  boys  put  their  hands  across  their 
stomachs  and  doubled  up  in  enjoyment  of 
the  picture. 

"  Aunt  A.  A.  always  said  Nunc  Binny 
was  too  bashful  to  get  along.  He'll  get 
42 


Uncle  Binny  Takes  a  Swim 


along  now.  I  can  see  him  with  the  wind 
behind  him,  and  the  brethren  from  his 
lodge  chasing  him  down  that  beach  now  ; 
— can't  you,  Mickey  ?  " 

Mickey  rolled  over  on  the  ground  and 
kicked  his  heels,  shouting,  "  Oh,  gee — 
Tucker— Dan ! " 

"  What'll  folks  say  about  us  when  they 
find  out?" 

"  I  dunno,  an'  I  don't  care  so  long  as 
they  do  the  right  thing  by  Nunc  Binny 
and  help  him  in  his  hour  of  need." 

The  boys  walked  into  the  woods  near 
by  and  sat  down  to  wait  and  kill  time  ; 
while  across  the  harbor  on  the  beach 
Uncle  Binny  excavated  a  hole  in  the  dry 
sand  in  the  lee  of  a  dune,  and  waited 
therein  for  the  shades  of  night  and  a 
chance  to  return  home  unobserved. 


CHAPTER  THREE 

UNCLE  BINNY'S  RETURN  HOME 

(ATE  in  the  afternoon  the  boys 
returned  to  town  at  a  rapid 
dog-trot,  their  favorite  gait 
when  in  action.  With  them 
were  Uncle  Binny's  clothes 
and  two  or  three  neighborly 
dogs  that  followed  them 
partly  from  inquisitiveness,  and  partly  be- 
cause all  the  dogs  knew  the  pair  and  en- 
joyed their  company.  When  near  the 
main  street  Mickey  and  Tucker  dove  into 
a  jewelry  store  kept  by  one  of  Uncle 
Binny's  best  friends  and  threw  the  clothes 
breathlessly  on  the  floor. 

"  We  played  hookey,  an'  was  on  the 
beach.     We  seen  a  man  in  the  ocean,  an' 
then  we  didn't  see  no  man  in  the  ocean, 
44 


Uncle  Binny's  Return  Home 


but  we  found  his  clothes — some  of  'em — 
an'  they  are  Nuncle  Binny's."  This  was 
the  literal  truth.  They  deemed  it  un- 
necessary to  state  that  when  they  didn't 
see  the  man  in  the  ocean  they  saw  him 
on  land.  Such  a  statement  was  quite  un- 
called for.  Tucker  Dan  had  figured  that 
if  people  jumped  too  soon  at  conclusions 
it  was  their  own  fault. 

The  jeweler  looked  at  the  clothes  and 
charm.  "  Your  Uncle  Binny's — sure," 
he  exclaimed.  "  What  was  he  doing 
down  there  on  the  beach  ?  " 

"  After  us,  I  guess  ; — wanted  to  catch 
me ; — took  a  swim  'cause  we  wasn't  to 

be  found,  an'  now Oh,  golly,  poor 

Nunc  Binny "  exclaimed  Tucker  Dan 

breaking  into  what  sounded  like  a  sob. 

Mr.    Orth   gazed  at  the   boys.     "You 
saw   him   in   the  water — and   then   you 
didn't   see   him   in   the   water,"   he   ex- 
claimed, his  face  turning  pale. 
45 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Yes  ;  that's  it — that's  it ;  then  we 
found  his  clothes." 

"  Drowned."  Mr.  Orth  reverently 
took  the  clothes  behind  the  counter. 
"  Drowned,"  he  exclaimed  hurriedly,  and 
next  minute,  speaking  to  his  clerk,  he 
dashed  out  for  the  police  station  down  the 
street.  Tucker  nudged  Mickey.  "  It  ain't 
a  lie  ;  see  how  it  works.  We  did  see  him 
in  the  ocean,  and  then  we  didn't  see  him 
in  the  ocean." 

It  wasn't  necessary  for  the  boys  to  do 
any  more  talking.  Mr.  Orth  had  a  crowd 
around  him  in  about  one  minute,  and  in 
a  short  time  a  large  search  party  had 
formed. 

The  stores  were  closed  in  town  and  the 
party  headed  for  the  beach  afoot,  carrying 
grappling  irons  and  ropes,  while  several 
light  skiffs  were  put  into  wagons  to  be 
carted  to  the  beach  and  there  launched 
into  the  Atlantic.  Others  started  to 
46 


Uncle  Btnny's  Return  Home 


row  across  the  harbor  for  the  same  pur- 
pose. 

The  two  boys  were  forgotten,  and  hur- 
rying back  to  the  outskirts  of  town  they 
waited  anxiously  at  the  place  where  they 
had  landed  from  the  beach  and  where 
their  boat  lay  on  the  shore.  Both  were 
uneasy  and  getting  more  so  every  minute. 
The  magnitude  of  their  work  began  to 
awe  them. 

"  Gee,  Tuck,  look  at  the  crowd  going 
down  the  head  of  the  beach.  Your  Uncle 
Binny's  going  to  have  a  big  funeral,  don't 
you  think  ? "  exclaimed  Mickey  doubt- 
fully. 

"  The  funeral  may  be  ours,"  answered 
Tucker  softly  as  they  watched  the  exodus 
in  the  growing  twilight.  "  Nunc  Binny 
will  be  swooped  in  pretty  soon,"  he  con- 
tinued. 

"  Bet  he  don't  stay  on  the  beach  ;  bet 
you  he  makes  a  break  ; — he  ain't  agoin' 
47 


Tucker  Dan 

to  be  caught  dressed  like  a  pirate.     He 
never  would  outgrow  it." 

"  Cheese  it,  Mick,  look !      For  the 

land's    sake,   there   comes   Nunc   Binny 


now." 


Sure  enough  !  They  could  see  him 
rise  from  his  sand-dune,  run  along  the 
water's  edge  and  roll  a  log  into  the  har- 
bor ;  next  moment  he  was  hanging  on  to 
the  log  and  kicking  for  the  mainland  in 
the  direction  of  the  boys.  He  had  es- 
caped detection  by  the  searchers  as  he  was 
too  far  down  the  beach  to  be  seen. 
Slowly  he  swam  in  towards  the  mainland 
aided  by  the  current,  and  the  boys 
watched  him  anxiously. 

He  was  evidently  tired,  but  being  a 
good  swimmer  he  had  managed  to  be- 
stride the  log  and  was  taking  things  easy 
in  the  twilight.  He  had  buttoned  his 
coat,  and  his  shirt  was  still  on,  so  that  as 
he  grabbed  the  log  with  his  hands  and 
48 


Uncle  Binny 's  Return  Home 


his  legs  he  created  a  striking  appear- 
ance. 

"  It  must  be  one  of  those  sea-urchins 
we  read  about  t'other  day  at  school,"  ex- 
claimed Mickey  with  a  grin. 

"  Nope — must  be  a  sea-horse,"  chuckled 
Tucker. 

"  Haw — haw,  Tuck.  Say,  cheese  it ;  I 
can't  laugh  at  your  Nunc  Binny.  It's  too 
sad.  Look — what's  up?" 

Mr.  George  Binny  had  been  discovered 
by  the  searchers,  and  crowds  of  them 
lined  the  harbor  edge  of  the  beach,  cheer- 
ing him  on  in  his  long  swim.  They  all 
thought  he  had  drifted  and  swum  into 
the  harbor  on  the  log  from  the  Atlantic 
outside  ;  but  still  they  couldn't  understand 
how  he  happened  to  get  aboard  of  a  log 
at  sea  in  a  half  dressed  condition.  Uncle 
Binny  had  no  idea  of  letting  them  find 
out ;  and  when  he  saw  he  was  discovered 
and  that  some  boats  were  after  him  he 
49 


Tucker  Dan 

rolled  off  the  log  and  swam  desperately 
for  shore.  Those  watching  afar  off 
cheered  at  his  superb  exhibition  of  phys- 
ical prowess.  As  he  was  nearing  the  main- 
land Tucker  Dan  spoke. 

"  Mickey,  let's  get  near  home  ; — he's 
got  to  get  home." 

The  boys  were  off  as  night  closed  in, 
and  Uncle  Binny  made  a  landing  some 
distance  down  the  shore.  Tuck  and  his 
chum  soon  reached  the  Binny  house, 
found  a  good  point  of  vantage  behind  the 
back  fence  and  waited. 

The  moon  was  nearly  full  now,  and 
cast  shadows  here  and  there  which  af- 
forded good  hiding  spots  for  the  pair. 
They  could  see  that  Aunt  Amy  was 
within  the  dining-room  talking  to  Mrs. 
Connor,  who  was  evidently  paying  her  a 
late  call. 

"  They're  consulting"  exclaimed  Tuck- 
er. "They  think  you  an'  I  are  run 
50 


Uncle  Bmny's  Return  Home 


away ;  an'  Nunc  Bmny's  too  late  coming 
home  for  comfort." 

"  Nobody  ain't  told  'em  he  was 
drownded,"  said  Mickey.  "  If  they  had 
they'd  be  cryin'." 

"  Sure  ;  but  listen  !  " 

The  drone  of  the  two  ladies'  voices  came 
wafted  to  the  ears  without.  Aunt  Amy 
was  speaking. 

"  No,  Mrs.  Connor,  I  never  spanked 
Tucker  Dan  Pils  but  once,  but  when  he 
comes  home  I'll  do  it  again  even  if  Binny 
has  caught  him  and  done  it  already." 

"  Laws-a-mercy,"  answered  Mrs.  Con- 
nor. "  I  ain't  a  goin'  to  spank  Mickey, 
but  his  father  has  just  made  a  nice  new 
whip  with  four  tails  to  it  to-day ;  an'  he 
'lows  as  how  Mickey'll  be  laid  up  for  re- 
pairs until  next  fall." 

Mickey  stood  on  one  leg  behind  the 
fence  and  listened  attentively,  while 
Tucker  Dan  shuddered  and  felt  cold 
51 


Tucker  Dan 

chills  running  down  his  back  at  the  cold- 
bloodedness of  Aunt  Amy. 

Suddenly  he  grabbed  Mickey  by  his 
shoulders  and  pulled  him  down  to  a 
large  hole  in  the  fence  through  which 
both  could  peer  at  once. 

"  Look  over  there  near  the  barn,  Mick. 
There's  Nunc  Binny." 

He  surely  was  there,  standing  half  in 
the  moonlight  and  half  in  the  shadow, 
with  his  bald  head  shining  like  a  search- 
light, his  white  shirt  hanging  to  his 
knees  and  his  dark  coat  buttoned  around 
his  manly  breast.  His  shoes  looked 
twice  too  large  for  him  when  contrasted 
with  the  tanned  skin  above.  He  was 
undecided  as  to  how  to  storm  the  house 
evidently,  but  soon  ran  along  the  barn 
and  stealthily  started  to  climb  the  board 
fence  of  the  yard. 

The  two  ladies  within  the  house  heard 
a  noise,  and  Aunt  Amy  cast  a  glance 
52 


Uncle  Binny 's  Return  Home 


towards  the  back  fence.  It  was  Tucker's 
favorite  way  of  approach,  and  when  she 
saw  a  bare  leg  with  a  shoe  on  it  half-way 
over  the  fence  she  decided  that  Tucker 
Dan  had  come  at  last.  She  just  raised 
her  eyes  to  Mrs.  Connor  and  said, 
"  Sh — keep  quiet ;  there  comes  Tucker 
over  the  fence.  He'll  sneak  up  the  back 
way,  and  I'll  whale  him  as  he  goes  up- 
stairs." 

All  was  quiet ;  so  Uncle  Binny  raised 
himself  cautiously  over  the  fence  and 
made  for  the  back  door.  Mickey  whis- 
pered to  Tucker  that  it  was  a  blamed 
shame  to  see  a  man  like  him  so  afraid  of 
his  own  shadow,  and  the  other  scape- 
grace drily  answered  that  judging  from 
the  shape  of  the  shadow  it  wasn't  to  be 
wondered  at. 

Uncle  Binny  opened  the  kitchen  door 
very  softly  and  started  to  steal  up-stairs. 
Aunt  Amy  was  waiting  behind  the  hall 
53 


Tucker  Dan 

door  for  dear  Tucker  as  she  thought,  and 
as  Mr.  Binny  took  the  first  step  upward 
she  landed  with  a  large  flat  piece  of  pine 
board. 

Mr.  Binny  went  up  the  stairs  four 
at  a  time,  and  dropped  in  bed  with  a 
whoop  that  made  Tucker  Dan  and 
Mickey  sick  with  excitement. 

Mrs.  Connor  when  she  saw  the  figure 
of  Uncle  Binny  bounding  up-stairs  four 
at  a  time  flew  out  of  the  back  door  cack- 
ling like  a  scared  hen  ;  while  Aunt  Amy, 
discovering  her  mistake,  collapsed  on  the 
kitchen  floor  and  screamed  to  Uncle 
Binny  to  come  down  and  explain. 

A  portentous  silence  reigned  behind 
the  back  fence,  broken  by  a  whisper  from 
Tucker. 

"  Say,  Mick,  we've  gone  a  bit  too  far 
this  time.  I'm  going  in  to  take  my 
medicine." 

"  Yep,  I'm  goin'  home  to  get  a  lickin', 
54 


The  scene  that  ensued  was 

the  liveliest  of  the  day." — Page  55. 


Uncle  Binny's  Return  Home 


too,"  assented  Mick.  "  Dis  here  thing  is 
dreadful." 

But  they  didn't  move  quickly  enough. 
Uncle  Binny  had  encased  himself  in  a 
blue  and  red  counterpane,  and  peering 
out  of  the  window  saw  the  two  lads 
behind  the  back  fence.  Seizing  a  bed 
slat,  with  the  agility  of  a  cat  he  climbed 
out  on  to  the  wood-shed,  and  next  mo- 
ment jumped  down  between  the  two  as 
they  unsuspectingly  gazed  through  the 
fence. 

The  scene  that  ensued  was  active  enough 
even  for  Tucker  Dan.  It  was  the  liveliest 
of  the  day. 


55 


CHAPTER  FOUR 


UNCLE  BINNY  LOSES  CASTE 

BOUT  a  half  mile  to  the  south 
of  the  Binny  homestead  was 
that  of  Orlando  Martin,  a 
rather  prosperous  merchant 
in  the  town  of  Sorrento, 
where  the  doings  herein 
chronicled  took  place.  Mr. 
Martin  had  two  daughters,  Augusta  and 
Salvina — twins ;  but  why  he  had  called 
one  Salvina  nobody  ever  knew.  Some 
in  Sorrento  said  it  was  because  Mr. 
Martin  was  weak-minded  from  the  shock 
at  the  time,  and  insisted  on  having  his 
own  way,  despite  his  wife's  desire  to  call 
the  baby  "  Welcome."  At  all  events  the 
girls  grew  up  to  be  as  pretty  and  capti- 
vating as  any  one  could  desire,  and  they 
56 


Uncle  Btnny  Loses  Caste 


were  most  astonishingly  alike  even  for 
twins. 

At  the  time  of  the  opening  of  our  story 
the  girls  were  just  about  thirteen,  and 
scholars  at  the  same  school  that  Tucker 
Dan  and  his  friend  Michael  Connor  at- 
tended. Although  the  little  maidens 
were  bowing  acquaintances  of  the  two 
boys,  they  never  allowed  Tucker  and  his 
chum  to  break  over  the  line  of  distant 
formality  ;  and  in  all  fairness  it  must  be 
said  that  neither  of  the  boys  had  tried  to 
force  his  attentions.  Except  once  a  few 
months  back  when  Mickey  had  surrepti- 
tiously put  a  small  live  lobster  on 
Augusta's  back  hair  as  she  flew  up-stairs 
to  the  class-room ;  but  this  friendly  ad- 
vance had  worked  out  in  an  unexpected 
manner.  Nobody  knew  who  put  the 
crustacean  there.  The  class  simply  dis- 
covered it  when  Augusta  stood  up  to  re- 
cite, and  then  as  the  lobster  swung  its 
57 


Tucker  Dan 

right  arm  and  hooked  a  short  blow  on 
her  neck  she  discovered  it  too.  The 
teacher,  not  knowing  what  caused  the 
riot,  seized  the  twin  by  the  shoulder. 
The  lobster  used  its  empty  left  hand  this 
time  and  hooked  successfully  on  to  the 
teacher's  thumb ;  and  the  lady  and 
Augusta,  united  by  a  common  bond, 
waltzed  down-stairs  and  out  into  the 
playground,  where  they  did  a  skirt 
dance.  Some  one,  hearing  them,  thought 
there  was  a  fire  in  the  school  and  turned 
in  an  alarm,  and  the  engines  arrived  just 
as  the  lobster  let  go  its  grip.  Mickey 
was  so  scared  by  the  denouement  that  he 
went  home  and  hid  in  the  barn,  where 
he  contracted  pneumonia  from  which  he 
nearly  lost  his  life.  An  investigation 
made  at  the  school  pointed  to  Tucker 
Dan  as  the  guilty  party,  he  being  the 
acknowledged  schemer ;  and  he  was  duly 
disciplined.  Mickey  confessed  to  Tucker 
58 


Uncle  Binny  Loses  Caste 


on  what  he  thought  was  his  death-bed, 
and  Tuck  forgave  him.  The  boys  were 
ever  after  stancher  friends  than  before, 
and  as  Tucker  never  told,  Mickey  looked 
upon  him  as  a  hero  of  great  proportions. 

The  Martin  homestead  was  surrounded 
by  a  splendid  lawn,  bordered  by  rose- 
bushes which  were  in  full  bloom,  and 
commanding  a  view  of  the  fields  in  the 
distance  and  of  the  Binny  home  to  the 
north  near  the  woods. 

On  the  moonlight  evening  when  Uncle 
Binny  returned  from  his  ride  on  the  log 
in  the  harbor  and  was  mistaken  by  Aunt 
Amy  for  Tucker  Dan,  the  twin  sisters, 
who  were  just  about  to  retire,  were  gazing 
out  of  their  window  on  the  landscape  so 
brilliantly  illuminated  by  the  orb  of 
night,  and  holding  childish  and  sisterly 
confidences,  for  they  loved  each  other 
dearly.  They  were  young  yet. 

"  Salvina,"  began  Augusta — "  Salvina, 
59 


Tucker  Dan 

I  think  you're  in  love  with  Tucker  Dan 
Pils ; — tee — hee — hee,"  she  chuckled  in 
thirteen-year-old  glee  at  her  boldness. 

Salvina  looked  her  sister  over  very 
carefully  in  the  moonlight  and  elevating 
her  clear  cut  and  aristocratic  little  nose 
remarked, 

"Tucker  always  was  nice  to  me,  an' 
mother  says  he's  much  nicer  than  he 
looks.  His  Uncle  Binny  is  a  nice 
man,  and  Tuck  comes  from  a  good 
enough  family — so  if  he  likes  me  and  I 
like  him  there's  nothing  to  prevent  our 
liking  each  other." 

"  Nothing  but  his  grammar  and  his 
getting  into  scrapes  and  sticking  the  lob- 
ster on  my  back  hair,"  answered  the  more 
critical  Augusta. 

"  Well,  your  back  hair  don't  count ;  be- 
sides I  don't  think  Tucker  did  it.  I 
think  Mickey  Connor  was  the  one  that 
did  it,  and  Tuck  got  what  he  oughtn't  to 
60 


Uncle  Bmny  Loses  Caste 


got.  Besides  you  haven't  anything  to 
say  :  if  you'd  only  seen  yourself  dancing 
rag-time  with  the  teacher  and  the  lobster 
you'd  never  say  another  word  regarding 
anybody's  love  affairs,"  retorted  Salvina, 
now  thoroughly  aroused. 

"  Well,  you  can  have  Tucker  Dan  if 
you  want  him,  but  he  wouldn't  look  at 
you  through  a  smoked  glass. — No,  he 
wouldn't,"  and  Augusta  straightened  up 
ready  to  defend  herself  from  a  possible 
onslaught. 

"  Maybe  I'm  in  love,  an'  maybe  I 
ain't,"  returned  the  smarting  Salvina ; 
"  but  anyway  I'll  be  true  to  him  and  to 
myself,  an'  I  want  you  to  understand 
that  Tucker  Dan  Pils  does  look  at  me, 
and  he  doesn't  use  a  smoked  glass  either  ; 
and  if  he  looked  at  you  even  through  a 
smoked  glass  it  wouldn't  do  any  good  : 
you'd  break  it  into  a  hundred  thousand 
billion  pieces." 

61 


Tucker  Dan 

There  was  a  silence,  long  drawn  and 
tense ;  then  Augusta  burst  into  tears. 
"You're  mean,  you're  as  mean  as  you 
can  be." 

Salvina  put  her  arms  around  her  sis- 
ter's neck  and  drew  her  towards  her. 
"  Not  so  mean  as  you  think,  Augusta. 
I  haven't  told  mama  that  you  sent  that 
rose  to  Mickey  Connor  when  he  was  get- 
ting over  the  pneumonia ;  and  I  never 
teased  you  when  I  thought  you  really 
cared  for  Mickey  although  you  make  fun 
of  him  so." 

Augusta  swallowed  a  tear  of  surprise 
and  acknowledged  her  guilt,  and  together 
the  two  girls  again  faced  the  window  and 
the  moonlight,  and  in  silence  communed 
with  the  spirits  of  the  two  distant  loved 
ones. 

It  just  so  happened  that  at  this  exact 
moment  Uncle  Binny  dropped  from  the 
roof  of  the  wood-shed,  bed  slat  in  hand, 
62 


Uncle  Binny  Loses  Caste 


upon  the  two  unsuspecting  loved  ones 
behind  the  fence.  Tucker  and  Mickey 
thought  an  insane  wildcat  was  loose,  until 
the  slat  began  to  fly ;  then  they  realized 
that  the  apparition  in  red  and  blue  was 
Uncle  Binny  looking  for  exercise,  and 
together  they  decided  to  stretch  their  legs 
southward.  They  had  yelled  a  few  times, 
and  the  two  girls  in  the  Martin  home 
broke  their  silence  at  the  window.  Au- 
gusta spoke  first. 

"  Goodness, — what  was  that?  " 

"  Sounded  like  a  cat  fight  over  near 
Mr.  Binny's." 

"  Yes,  but  did  you  hear  that  funny 
sound? — somebody's  beating  carpets." 

"  Funny  time  to  beat  carpets, — by 
night,"  exclaimed  Salvina,  and  the  two 
listened  again  in  amazement. 

Just  then  Tucker  let  out  his  parting 
shriek,  and  Mickey  cleared  a  couple  of 
yards  in  the  air  and  bellowed  a  reverber- 
63 


Tucker  Dan 

ating  howl  that  made  the  twins  tremble 
with  fright. 

"  It's  a  human  voice,"  exclaimed  Sal- 
vina.  "  It's  awful, — it's  a  murder — no, 
it's  a  fight; — no,  it's  Mickey  Connor's 
voice.  I'd  know  it  anywhere." 

By  this  time  the  rest  of  the  Martin 
family  down-stairs  were  out  on  the  porch, 
and  the  two  girls  were  three-quarters  out 
of  the  window  in  the  effort  to  make  out 
what  it  was  that  was  after  the  boys. 
Tucker  Dan  and  Mickey  sailed  in  full 
flight  under  the  window,  and  dashed 
away  and  beyond,  totally  oblivious  that 
the  twins  had  seen  them.  Uncle  Binny, 
suddenly  realizing  that  he  was  being 
watched,  halted  in  the  distance  and 
waved  his  bed  slat,  folding  the  varie- 
gated bed  quilt  carefully  around  him. 
He  looked  like  an  Indian ;  and  Tucker 
Dan,  glancing  behind  him  as  he  ran, 
quickly  realized  it.  As  he  dashed  past 
64 


Uncle  Binny  Loses  Caste 


the  Martin  coachman  at  the  barn  en- 
trance he  yelled,  "  He's  an  Indian, — 
drive  him  off;  he's  crazy." 

It  happened  that  there  was  a  gipsy 
encampment  thereabouts,  and  Mr.  Martin 
and  his  man  lost  no  time  in  arming 
themselves.  The  coachman,  a  new  man, 
got  a  pitchfork  and  Mr.  Martin  a  re- 
volver ;  and  together  they  made  for  what 
they  supposed  was  an  Indian  on  the 
rampage. 

Uncle  Binny  had  an  awful  time  ahead 
of  him. 

The  coachman  was  fleet  of  foot.  As 
Mr.  Martin  fired  his  revolver  in  the  air 
and  Mr.  Binny  sprinted  for  the  sake  of 
his  reputation,  the  man  with  the  pitch- 
fork overtook  the  fleeing  gentleman,  and 
prodded  him  until  he  dropped  his  quilt 
and  cleared  the  back  fence  of  his  house 
for  the  second  time  that  night. 

Unfortunately  at  that  instant  a  dele- 
65 


Tucker  Dan 

gation  from  the  lodge  and  several  hun- 
dred of  the  townspeople  were  assembled 
in  front  of  the  house  to  see  how  Mr. 
Binny  had  survived  his  swim  on  the  log, 
and  to  congratulate  him  on  his  safety. 
When  they  saw  Uncle  Binny  coming  over 
the  back  fence  in  the  same  deshabille  as 
when  he  bestrode  the  log,  and  with  Mr. 
Martin's  coachman  close  behind  him, 
they  decided  to  go  home  without  asking 
questions  of  a  lunatic. 

It  was  an   awful   shock.     The   crowd 
simply  couldn't  stand  it. 


66 


CHAPTER  FIVE 

THE  DOCTOR  INTERVIEWS  MICKEY 

jN  the  desperate  race  from  Un- 
cle Binny's  vengeance  Tuck- 
er Dan  had  escaped  un- 
scathed, but  Mickey  wasn't 
so  fortunate.  As  he  followed 
his  friend  around  the  Martin 
barn  he  stumbled,  slightly 
spraining  his  ankle,  and  not  being  in 
a  particularly  good  humor  he  yelled  un- 
til the  chickens  in  the  hen-house  near  by 
started  a  discordant  chorus. 

These  very  yells  lent  speed  to  the 
coachman  and  to  Mr.  Martin  in  their 
wild  chase  after  the  Indian,  for  they  felt 
certain  that  the  aborigine  had  mauled  the 
boy.  Mrs.  Martin  in  her  sympathy  ran 
out  with  the  maid  and  helped  Connor  up 
67 


Tucker  Dan 

and  told  him  she  was  sorry  ;  and  together 
these  two  led  him  into  the  dining-room 
and  gently  laid  him  on  a  couch.  Then 
they  bathed  and  stroked  and  pulled  his 
leg  until  Mickey  felt  he  was  in  a  place 
too  good  to  be  real.  He  accepted  a  drink 
of  claret  and  controlled  himself  as  became 
a  wounded  gentleman.  Tucker  Dan  came 
in  cautiously,  and  quickly  understood 
that  Mickey  was  nine-tenths  shamming  ; 
but  seeing  a  good  opportunity  of  improv- 
ing acquaintance  with  the  twins — who 
had  hurriedly  dressed  and  were  stand- 
ing in  pained  alarm  on  the  staircase — 
he  subtly  suggested  something  about 
Mickey  having  once  broken  that  very 
ankle,  and  did  they  suppose  a  doctor 
was  necessary  ? 

It    was    a    good    play.     Mrs.    Martin 

'phoned    immediately     for    the    nearest 

surgeon.     Although     the    Connors    and 

she   didn't    belong    to  the  same  social 

68 


The  Doctor  Interviews  Mickey 


set  exactly,  Mrs.  Martin  was  no  stickler 
for  such  matters  when  a  boy  was  almost 
dead  with  an  injury  that  might  cripple 
him  for  years  if  not  for  life.  So  they 
took  him  up-stairs  and  laid  him  on  a 
bed. 

Augusta  hovered  about  the  room  door 
in  great  anxiety,  and  Salvina  out  in  the 
hall  listened  to  Tucker's  account  of  just 
how  it  happened.  He  hadn't  the  vaguest 
idea  of  how  it  had  happened,  but  that 
made  no  difference.  He  held  his  end  up 
wonderfully  well,  and  Mickey,  who  over- 
heard the  account,  decided  that  his  friend 
needed  no  help. 

Mrs.  Connor  and  the  maid  left  the  room 
for  a  moment,  and  Augusta  slipped  in, 
and  stealing  softly  up  to  the  couch,  looked 
sorrowfully  at  the  injured  one.  Mickey 
saw  her  expression  and  made  his  own 
very  pained  and  disconsolate. 

The  heart  of  the  pretty  little  maid, 
69 


Tucker  Dan 

already  badly  touched,  completely  gave 
way,  and  putting  her  hand  upon  Mickey's 
manly  brow  she  whispered  softly,  "  I'm 
awfully  sorry  Mr.— Mr. " 

"  Make  it  plain  Mickey,"  exclaimed 
the  invalid  with  a  tender  grin ;  "  the 
plainer  the  better." 

"Mickey,"  half  sobbed  Augusta,  "it 
must  be  awful." 

"  It  is,"  murmured  Mickey  —  "  it's  the 
awfullest  sufferin'  man  ever  endured." 

Augusta  cast  a  last  look  of  tenderness 
at  him  and  tiptoed  out  of  the  room  before 
her  mother  returned.  As  Augusta  stole 
out  Tucker  Dan  stole  in  and  stood  by  the 
couch  of  suffering. 

"  You  darn  faker,  you "  he  whis- 
pered wrathfully. 

"  It  does  hurt,"  answered  Mickey. 
"  Anyway  I  got  to  back  you  up,  ain't  I  ?  " 

"  Well,"  drawled  Tucker  ;  "  here  comes 
your  finish ;  "  and  Mickey  squirmed  as 
70 


The  Doctor  Interviews  Mickey 

he  heard  the  heavy  tread  of  the  surgeon 
who  was  just  then  admitted  to  the  front 
hall. 

Dr.  Nash  was  the  most  popular  mem- 
ber of  the  profession  for  miles  around, 
and  a  surgeon  of  considerable  ability. 
What  he  knew  he  knew  well,  and  what 
he  didn't  know  didn't  worry  him.  The 
consequence  was  that  he  got  along  fa- 
mously, considering  that  he  weighed  three 
hundred  and  twenty-two  pounds,  and 
that  when  he  operated  he  couldn't  al- 
ways see  his  fingers,  owing  to  a  marvel- 
ous corporosity.  He  had  dainty  hands 
and  always  kept  them  immaculately 
clean,  and  wore  the  best  clothes  that  he 
could  buy,  regardless  of  cost.  Besides 
these  attributes  he  had  a  handsome  face, 
and  an  over-developed  sense  of  humor. 
If  he  was  about  to  perform  a  very  serious 
operation  he  always  preceded  it  with  a 
few  stories,  because,  as  he  said,  he  rarely 
71 


Tucker  Dan 

felt  so  happy  afterwards  and  the  patients 
never  did. 

When  the  doctor  entered  the  room  poor 
Mickey  nearly  had  a  fit.  He  had  never 
seen  him  so  close  before,  and  the  room 
seemed  all  doctor  and  no  Mickey. 

Dr.  Nash  sat  down  on  the  strongest 
chair  he  could  find  and  glanced  search- 
ingly  at  the  patient.  His  experienced 
eye  told  him  the  boy  was  not  really  suf- 
fering much,  so  he  began  his  interview  in 
the  way  best  suited  to  disprove  Mickey's 
story. 

"  Hurt  much,  my  boy  ?  " 

"  Yessir." 

"Where?" 

11  Ankle." 

By  this  time  the  dexterous  fingers  of 
the  surgeon  were  sliding  over  the  bones 
in  a  fatherly  sort  of  a  way.  The  boy 
squealed  once  or  twice,  making  the 
women  folk  gasp  in  sympathy. 
72 


The  Doctor  Interviews  Mickey 


"  That  certainly  is  a  terribly  painful 
injury,  my  boy,"  exclaimed  the  doctor  as 
he  gazed  long  and  searchingly  at  Mickey 
in  a  way  that  gave  the  horrors  to  the  cul- 
prit. 

Tucker  Dan,  standing  at  the  foot  of  the 
couch,  understood.  "  He's  on — he's  on 
to  Mickey.  Mickey,  you're  up  against 
it,"  he  thought. 

Dr.  Nash  got  up  slowly  and  ponder- 
ously, and  nodding  to  Mrs.  Martin  led 
the  way  to  the  parlor,  saying  as  he  dis- 
appeared, "  Let's  talk  this  over,  Mrs. 
Martin  ;  it  is  a  serious  injury." 

Tucker  Dan  never  smiled,  and  Mickey 
couldn't  have  smiled  if  he  had  had  to. 
He  had  begun  to  feel  nervous.  There 
was  Augusta  to  whom  he  must  enact  the 
part  of  a  hero,  and  there  was  the  doctor 
ready  for  business. 

He   eyed  Tucker  Dan  ;  but  his  chum 

shook  his  head  sorrowfully. 
T3 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Doc  thinks  it  is  pretty  bad.  Did  you 
see  how  he  shook  his  head  ?  That  means 
yer  foot's  broke." 

Just  then  Dr.  Nash's  voice  came  wafted 
in  from  the  parlor  to  Mickey. 

"Have  you  a  good  table  you  can  let 
me  have,  Mrs.  Martin  ?  — one  that  will 
hold  the  boy  if  he  struggles,  you  know. 
Ether  makes  them  awful  sick." 

Mickey  didn't  suspect  that  Dr.  Nash 
had  told  Mrs.  Martin  in  a  whisper  that 
the  injured  boy  was  largely  fooling  them  ; 
nor  did  he  know  that  Mrs.  Martin  had 
entered  into  the  spirit  of  the  doctor's 
humor. 

"  Well,  doctor,  we  have  the  kitchen 
table,  and  Mr.  Martin  and  the  coachman 
will  soon  be  back ;  they  can  hold  him  no 
matter  how  he  cuts  up.  What  are  you 
going  to  do?" 

"  Well,  the  boy  needs  to  have  consider- 
able setting  done  ;  and,  by  the  way,  my 
74 


The  Doctor  Interviews  Mickey 

saw  is  rusty  ; — have  you  one  of  those  long 
bread  knives  with  ragged  edges  ?  They 
make  elegant  bone  saws.  We'll  sterilize 
it  and  it  will  do.  Nothing  like  knowing 
how  to  get  along  in  an  emergency." 

Dr.  Nash  had  so  controlled  his  voice 
that  it  came  very  indistinctly  to  Mickey. 

"  We'll  telephone  for  another  doctor, 
and  finish  this  job  right  now  ;  and  then 
to-morrow  the  boy  can  go  to  the  hospital. 
His  father  ought  to  stand  fifty  dollars  for 
my  services, — don't  you  think  so,  Mrs. 
Martin  ?  " 

11  Surely." 

"Fifty  dollars,"  murmured  Mickey ; 
"  did  you  hear  that,  Tuck  ?  " 

"  Sure,  but  it's  got  to  be  done." 

"  Fifty  dollars  !  that  means  fifty  inches 
of  skin  off  my  back  when  the  old  man 
gets  the  bill,"  murmured  Mickey  ; — "  an' 

ether,   an'  a  sterilized  bread   knife 

Oh,  Lord ! " 

75 


Tucker  Dan 

The  cold  perspiration  was  trickling 
down  Mickey's  back.  Cautiously  he 
moved  his  foot ;  it  worked  all  right. 
Then  he  measured  with  his  eye  the  dis- 
tance to  the  nearest  window  and  rose  from 
his  couch,  seizing  his  stocking  and  his 
shoe. 

Dr.  Nash  was  coming,  and  remarking 
to  Mrs.  Martin  as  he  came,  "I'll  break 
the  news  to  the  boy  now.  It  must  be." 

"  You'll  break  nothing  of  the  sort," 
yelled  Mickey  as  he  sprang  over  the  table 
and  gracefully  mounted  the  window  sill. 
He  made  a  grab  for  the  rain  pipe  outside, 
and  swung  on  to  it  like  a  monkey. 
Whooping  with  fright  he  slid  down,  and 
in  a  flash  struck  something  soft  and  wet 
at  the  bottom.  Then  those  above  heard 
an  appalling  sound  like  a  whale  spouting  ; 
and  Tucker  yelled,  "  Gosh  !  Mick's  in  the 
rain  barrel." 

All  hands  flew  to  the  rescue ;  but  all 
76 


The  Doctor  Interviews  Mickey 


they  saw  was  a  lone  figure,  wet  to  the 
skin,  loping,  shoe  in  hand  across  the 
moonlit  field. 

"Where's  that  Tucker  Dan?"  asked 
the  doctor  suddenly. 

Then  the  gentle  moonlight  revealed 
another  figure,  sprinting  in  the  track  of 
the  first. 


77 


CHAPTER  SIX 


UNCLE  BINNY'S  MISTAKE 

NCLE  BINNY'S  popularity 
suffered  a  great  shock  when 
it  became  known  that  he 
was  not  insane.  Had  he 
been  a  sufferer  from  mental 
trouble  his  fellow  citizens 
would  have  been  sorry ;  but 
as  it  was,  they  felt  that  such  conduct  in  a 
citizen  and  a  church  member  was  unbe- 
coming to  say  the  least.  When  they 
thought  of  how  they  had  organized  search 
parties  and  scoured  the  beach,  and  after- 
wards gone  to  congratulate  Mr.  Binny  on 
his  safe  arrival  home,  only  to  witness 
him  hurdling  over  the  back  fence  in  the 
full  enjoyment  of  his  health,  they  felt  ag- 
grieved. 

Y8 


Uncle  Btnny's  Mistake 


Strangely  no  one  blamed  Tucker  Dan 
for  thinking  his  uncle  had  been  drowned  ; 
and  nobody  on  the  other  hand  could  for- 
give Mr.  Binny  for  letting  his  wife  spank 
him.  Every  one  blamed  him  for  chasing 
Tucker  Dan  Pils  and  Mickey  Connor 
across  country,  and  then  being  such  a 
coward  as  to  run  away  from  Mr.  Martin 
and  his  coachman.  This  argued  that  if 
Mr.  Binny  couldn't  control  his  temper 
and  his  courage  better  than  that  he  was 
a  mighty  poor  specimen  of  a  house 
owner. 

Mr.  Binny  endeavored  to  explain  once 
or  twice  ;  but  he  never  got  very  far  before 
he  realized  that  he  was  on  a  wave  of  un- 
popularity, and  quit  in  disgust.  When 
he  finally  got  hold  of  Tucker  he  actually 
didn't  dare  whip  him,  so  cowed  was  he 
by  public  opinion  ;  and  even  Aunt  Amy 
never  said  a  word  to  the  boy,  out  of  sheer 
mortification  at  herself  and  the  most  un- 
79 


Tucker  Dan 

usual  and  unheard  of  cuttings  up  of  her 
hitherto  esteemed  spouse. 

All  the  recent  adventures  preyed  on 
Mr.  Binny's  mind,  and  he  formed  the 
habit  of  taking  long  walks  into  the  coun- 
try alone.  Now  as  a  matter-of-fact,  he 
was  as  nice  an  old  gentleman  as  one 
could  find  in  a  day's  journey  ;  but  he  was 
discouraged  and  the  blues  had  him,  and 
he  must  needs  walk  them  off  or  burst. 

The  more  he  worried,  the  more  he  de- 
cided to  fix  Tucker  Dan  at  the  first  oppor- 
tunity. Uncle  Binny  was  losing  hope  and 
temper,  and  it  rankled  him  to  see  the  wan 
smile  on  his  wife's  face  whenever  he  went 
up  the  back  stairs  in  a  sprightly  manner. 

Tucker  was  quietly  studying  his  uncle 
all  this  while,  and  he  didn't  like  the 
symptoms.  One  morning  Mickey  met 
him  on  the  way  to  school  and  started  in 
with  the  query, 

"  What  ails  yer  Nuncle  Binny?  " 
80 


Uncle  Bmny's  Mistake 


"  Uncle's  got  the  thinks." 

"  That  must  be  it.  I  seen  him  out  in 
the  woods  t'other  day  with  a  hatchet  cut- 
ting out  a  handle  on  a  board.  The  board 
was  looking  something  like  a  pocket  sized 
brickbat.  When  he  got  through,  I  seen 
him  stick  it  in  his  hip  pocket." 

Tucker  thought  pensively  for  a  mo- 
ment. 

"  Mick,"  he  said  finally,  "  that  small 
sized  bat  was  made  for  yours  truly." 

"  Gosh,  Tuck,  ain't  you  had  yer  lickin' 
yet?" 

"  Nope ;  but  there  are  signs  in  the  sky, 
dear  Michael." 

"  I'm  sorry,"  exclaimed  Mickey  ;  "  I'm 
sorry,  Tuck.  You  see  I'm  well  over 
mine  ;  I'm  convalescing." 

"  Yep,"  said  Tucker  Dan  bravely  ;  "  but 
when  Uncle  Binny  breaks  loose  he'll  be  a 
cyclone.     He   ain't  blowed  off  good  an' 
hard  since  I've  known  him." 
81 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Gee ;  them's  the  worst  kind.  You 
better  see  Dr.  Nash  and  get  something  be- 
fore it  begins. — Anyway  I'll  tell  Salvina 
to  send  you  flowers  when  it  happens." 
Mickey  dodged  behind  a  tree  in  time  to 
miss  the  apple  which  Tucker  fired  at 
him.  The  latter,  thoroughly  angry  at 
such  remarks,  chased  Mickey  into  the 
basement  of  the  schoolroom  and  sat  on 
his  chest  as  soon  as  he  could. 

"  Mick,"  said  he,  "  never  drag  a  lady's 
name  into  any  such  a  thing  as  that.  If 
you  do  I'll  punch  you." 

Mickey  squirmed  on  the  floor  and  sud- 
denly arched  his  back.  Tuck  lost  his 
balance  and  fell  headlong  into  the  ash 
bin  near  by.  He  was  up  in  a  second, 
looking  like  a  fricasseed  oyster,  and  blind 
with  dust  and  ashes  started  headlong 
after  Mickey  up  the  stairs,  forgetting  that 
the  school  bell  had  rung  a  moment  be- 
fore. Mickey  disappeared  somewhere, 
82 


Uncle  Bmny's  Mistake 


and  Tucker  landed  with  a  bound  in  front 
of  the  teacher,  a  little  man  with  a  kindly 
face  and  named  O'Hara,  who  threw  up 
his  arm  in  self-defense  at  sight  of  the  ash- 
covered  intruder.  Tucker  Dan  thought 
it  was  Mickey  continuing  the  fight,  and 
in  his  blinded  condition  swung  low  and 
caught  the  pedagogue  on  the  jaw  as  he 
ducked  to  save  himself. 

Mr.  O'Hara  fell  forward  on  his  knees, 
butted  his  head  against  the  floor  and 
went  to  sleep.  It  was  a  dreadful  mis- 
take. 

In  about  a  second  Tucker  had  shaken 
the  ashes  out  of  his  eyes ;  and  when  he 
saw  what  he  had  done  he  made  for  the 
woods.  He  did  not  wait  to  call  back 
to  his  schoolmates  who  seemed  to  have 
suddenly  organized  a  gigantic  chorus. 
Neither  did  he  run  any  faster  when  he 
heard  Mickey  shouting  at  the  top  of 
his  voice,  "  Run,  Tucker, — run  like  Hali- 
83 


Tucker  Dan 

fax."  He  didn't  run  faster  because  he 
couldn't.  He  heard  his  hip  joints  creak 
as  he  flew  along,  and  he  knew  they 
needed  oil,  but  it  was  too  late  to  argue 
that  matter.  The  wind  blew  the  ashes 
behind  him,  and  pedestrians  stopped  in 
amazement  to  see  the  curious  color  of  his 
hair.  They  started  in  pursuit  when  the 
true  nature  of  the  thing  was  explained  to 
them  by  the  lady  teacher  who  rushed 
frantically  to  the  street. 

Tucker  Dan  glanced  behind  him  and 
saw  the  crowd  growing,  and  heard  the 
patter  of  the  pursuing  feet.  "  Gosh,  I'm 
a  pill  this  time  sure  ! "  said  he  fervently. 

He  was  naturally  very  fleet  of  foot,  and 
had  always  prided  himself  that  he  could 
outrun  any  fellow  in  town  except  Mickey ; 
but  he  was  now  conscious  that  some  one 
was  not  far  behind  him.  Some  one  who 
ran  lightly  with  an  easy  stride  like  his 
own,  and  who  seemed  to  be  gaining. 
84 


Uncle  Binny's  Mistake 


Tuck  did  not  dare  to  look  back  lest  he 
should  lose  speed,  and  he  couldn't  let  out 
any  more  reefs,  so  he  gritted  his  teeth  and 
worked  his  legs  like  pistons — and  thought. 
He  was  in  sight  of  the  woods,  but  al- 
though he  was  gaining  on  the  crowd  he 
couldn't  shake  off  the  runner  behind 
him.  He  could  hear  the  ominous  growls 
from  the  distant  pursuers,  and  he  knew 
what  it  meant — but  he  couldn't  hear  any- 
thing from  the  fellow  behind  him  except 
his  lightly  falling  feet. 

"That  fellow's  got  Tucker  Dan  Pils 
this  time,"  he  thought.  "  My  jig's  up  ; 
he's  a  wonder." 

Closer  came  the  footfalls  behind,  and  it 
was  evident  Tucker  could  not  get  away. 
His  heart  sank  within  him,  but  suddenly 
the  pursuer  spoke,  and  the  culprit  re- 
vived. 

"  Run,"  cried  the  voice,  "  run  like  the 
devil. — I'm  wid  you." 
85 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Mickey,"  exclaimed  Tucker  in  a  joy- 
ous gasp. 

"  Yes,  it's  Mick — but  don't  stop.  Re- 
member I'm  trying  to  catch  you.  Ye're 
a  murderer,  Tuck — he's  dead  as  a 
clam." 

That  was  enough  for  Tucker  Dan.  He 
let  out  the  last  ounce  of  strength  and 
dashed  into  the  woods,  where  Mickey 
overhauled  him  ;  and  together  they  ran  a 
short  distance  and  sat  down  behind  a 
fallen  tree. 

"  How  did  you  do  it,  Tuck  ?  "  queried 
Mickey  in  deepest  sympathy. 

"  I  thought  he  was  you,  and  I  let  go  at 
him.  Is  he  sure  enough  dead  ?  " 

"  He's  stiff  as  a  board,  Tuck  ;  you  bet- 
ter go  home  before  the  crowd  comes." 

Tucker  Dan  stood  up,  and  looking  at 
Mickey  said — his   voice   trembling  with 
emotion,  "  Mick,  you   an'  I   have  been 
friends  ;  will  we  always  be  friends  ?  " 
86 


Uncle  Binny' s  Mistake 


"  Always,  Tuck ;  an'  when  dey  hangs 
you  it'll  break  me  all  up." 

"  Yep,  me,  too,"  murmured  Tucker ; 
"  and — oh,  say,  Mick,  I  can't  stand  it." 
Then  he  led  the  way  through  the  woods 
and  across  the  field  homeward. 

"  I  might  as  well  tell  Uncle  Binny,"  he 
continued  bravely.  "  I  didn't  mean  to  do 
it,  but  it's  done  and  we'll  never  go  out 
together  any  more,  Mick." 

Both  boys  were  feeling  pretty  blue  by 
this  time.  The  magnitude  of  the  catas- 
trophe had  come  to  both  of  them  in  its 
full  seriousness,  and  naturally  Tucker 
wanted  the  love  and  protection  of  Uncle 
Binny.  It  was  an  awful  position  for  the 
boy,  and  he  turned  where  nature  prompted 
him. 

Uncle  Binny  was  sitting  on  the  door- 
steps admiring  the  hen-house  when 
Tucker  hove  in  sight,  with  Mickey  some 
way  behind ;  for  Mickey  couldn't  stand 
87 


Tucker  Dan 

the  horror  of  it,  and  had  let  Tucker  Dan 
advance  alone. 

"  Uncle  Binny,  I've  done  an  awful 
thing.  I  didn't  mean  to.  I'm  a  mu- 

mud "  poor  Tucker  Dan  couldn't  say 

any  more ;  he  was  utterly  overcome. 

Uncle  Binny  needed  no  further  en- 
lightenment ;  this  was  his  long-waited 
for  opportunity.  He  saw  the  boy's 
clothes  ground  with  ashes,  and  his  hat- 
less  head  covered  with  the  same  product ; 
and  he  knew  by  the  culprit's  general 
appearance  that  he  had  done  something 
dreadful  this  time. 

"  Ah — ha ! "  quoth  Uncle  Binney  as  he 
stood  up  and  reached  into  his  hip  pocket. 
"  Ah — ha,  you  certainly  are  a  mu-mud — 
whatever  you  call  yourself.  Mudlark, 
eh  ?  Well,  here's  to  you." 

Saying  which  he  seized  the  utterly 
collapsed  Tucker  Dan  and  started  in 
with  the  pocket  edition  of  the  brick- 
88 


"  The  gun  was  loaded 
with  bird  shot."— Page  89. 


Uncle  Binny's  Mistake 


bat.  Tucker  was  right  when  he  fore- 
told a  cyclone.  Uncle  Binny  worked 
like  a  hero,  and  polished  the  boy  in 
all  directions.  Mickey  came  up  and 
danced  round  like  a  crazed  hen  try- 
ing to  explain,  but  Uncle  Binny  didn't 
hear. 

Suddenly  the  shouts  of  the  pursuers 
were  heard,  and  Tucker  Dan  by  a  su- 
preme effort  got  loose  and  skinned 
through  the  fence,  and  ran  for  the  fields 
in  the  distance. 

Now  the  Martin  coachman,  hearing 
the  racket,  seized  a  shotgun  that  stood 
in  the  barn  and  joined  in  the  chase  of 
what  he  supposed  was  a  thief.  Hearing 
some  one  yell  "  Stop  the  murderer  !  "  the 
man  got  excited  and  blazed  away  at  the 
fugitive.  Tucker  Dan  was  a  long  way 
off  and  the  gun  was  loaded  with  bird 
shot,  but  he  leaped  in  the  air  with  a 
cry  as  a  dozen  or  so  of  the  missiles 
89 


Tucker  Dan 

struck  him — then  he  tottered,  and  fell 
into  the  arms  of  Uncle  Binny,  who  had 
heard  from  the  crowd  the  true  story,  and 
who  now  hugged  the  maltreated  and  un- 
fortunate boy  in  a  paroxysm  of  grief. 


90 


CHAPTER  SEVEN 


AT  THE  HOSPITAL 

O  kill  a  man  under  any  cir- 
cumstances is  an  unpleas- 
ant affair,  though  sometimes 
there  are  conditions  govern- 
ing the  act  that  tend  to 
lessen  the  pang  of  the  after- 
thoughts ;  but  to  kill  a  man 
by  mistake  when  one  simply  meant  to 
flatten  the  fist  against  a  friend's  head, 
is  very  distressing  to  say  the  least. 

Tucker   Dan   had   plenty   of  time  to 
think. 

They  took  him  to  the  hospital ; — he 
himself  wished  to  go  home,  and  did  not 
understand  why  they  were  so  emphatic 
about  the  hospital  until  later.  After 
they  had  put  him  in  a  cot  he  was 
91 


Tucker  Dan 

deeply  worried  to  catch  a  glimpse  of 
Tim  Flaherty,  the  thinnest  and  nearest- 
sighted  policeman  in  town,  seated  outside 
in  the  hall  near  the  ward  door. 

Every  time  Tucker  looked  around 
the  ward  and  towards  the  windows  Mr. 
Flaherty  wheeled  in  his  chair  in  the 
hall  and  gazed  pensively  at  him  through 
his  thick  glasses.  Then  Tucker  Dan  be- 
gan to  understand.  He  was  pretty  well 
quenched,  and  the  shot  had  not  yet  been 
removed,  but  he  would  have  taken  any 
reasonable  opportunity  for  flight.  But 
Flaherty,  although  near-sighted,  was 
noted  for  his  nimbleness  of  foot,  and 
the  opportunity  was  not  yet  come. 

Through  all  the  dismal  despair  of  the 
occasion  there  was  one  ray  of  hope,  how- 
ever. Mr.  O'Hara  was  not  yet  quite  dead. 
He  was  in  the  hospital  somewhere  and 
Dr.  Nash  was  trying  to  revive  him,  aided 
by  the  members  of  the  house  staff. 
92 


At  the  Hospital 


The  nurse  told  Tucker  Dan  that  there 
was  a  slim  chance,  and  strongly  advised 
him  to  wait.  Anyway  he  felt  that  the 
brickbat  and  the  bird  shot  had  lamed 
him  too  much  to  justify  immediate  ac- 
tion, and  he  realized  that  to-morrow  the 
effect  would  be  even  more  noticeable.  It 
was  this  realization  perhaps  that  made 
sorrow  heaviest  on  his  young  head.  He 
must  needs  be  patient.  If  his  dear  friend 
Mickey  would  only  come  ! 

He  glanced  at  the  door,  and  lo  and 
behold  there  was  Mick,  hat  in  hand, 
entering  sideways  like  a  crab,  both  his 
eyes  on  Tim  Flaherty.  Never  in  all 
his  life  had  Mickey  been  so  respect- 
ful. 

"  Tucker  Dan,"  came  in  a  soft  whisper. 

"  Mick." 

"  Keep  yer  back  up,  Tuck ;  he's  still 
breathin'  ;   dey's  goin'  to  put  three  pans 
in  his  skull,  Dr.  Nash  says." 
93 


Tucker  Dan 

Dr.  Nash  came  around  just  then  and 
looked  at  Tucker's  injuries. 

"  Say,  Doc,"  murmured  the  boy,  "  is  he 
goin'  to  die  ?  " 

The  physician  shook  his  head  non- 
committally. 

Tucker  Dan  in  his  worriment  blurted 
out,  "  You're  goin'  to  put  pans  in  his 
head?" 

"  Pans?  "  said  the  astonished  doctor. 

"  Three  pans,"  supplemented  Mick  anx- 
iously. "  I  heard  'em  talking  about  it  in 
the  hall." 

Whatever  Dr.  Nash  felt  like  inside  he 
looked  outwardly  very  solemn.  "  Oh, 
trephine,  you  mean !  Yes,  we  may  have 
to  do  that.  But  meanwhile  we'll  take 
the  shot  out  of  your  hide,  Tucker  Dan." 

But  Tucker  protested  vigorously. 
"  Nope,  if  O'Hara  dies  these  stay  with 
me.  I  deserve  'em,  an'  I'll  keep  'em." 

No  amount  of  persuasion  could  affect 
94 


At  the  Hospital 


the  boy ;  and  finally  they  decided  to  let 
the  shot  remain  for  the  time  being  rather 
than  use  force  with  him,  as  he  was  gen- 
uinely and  greatly  affected  by  the  events 
of  the  day,  and  in  poor  condition  for 
much  harassment. 

It  was  astonishing  the  number  of 
friends  who  came  to  see  Tucker  Dan. 
Even  Mr.  Martin  came  and  brought  Sal- 
vina  and  Augusta.  The  coachman  didn't 
come  because  he  was  detained  by  the 
police,  awaiting  the  effect  of  Tucker 
Dan's  injuries. 

What  Tucker  couldn't  understand  was 
why  Uncle  Binny  hadn't  been  arrested 
too.  Many  had  seen  him  at  work ;  but 
although  the  injuries  he  inflicted  were 
worse  to  Tucker  Dan  than  those  inflicted 
by  the  coachman,  he  still  remained  at 
large. 

Mickey  remarked  from  behind  Au- 
gusta's shoulder,  "Yer  Nuncle  Binny 
95 


Tucker  Dan 

was  a  terrible  cyclone,  Tuck,"  and  Tucker 
Dan  glowered  in  mortification  as  he 
caught  Salvina  in  a  broad  grin.  "  He'd 
ought  to  be  arrested,  too,"  he  murmured. 

"  No,"  said  Mr.  Martin  smiling,  trying 
to  keep  the  boy's  courage  up  ;  "  anybody 
who  can  raise  the  wind  never  gets  arrested 
nowadays." 

"  Hully  gee,"  Mickey  bawled  in  appre- 
ciation. Salvina  snickered  and  Tucker 
Dan  couldn't  keep  serious  any  longer. 

"  That's  it,  Mr.  Martin.  Uncle  Binny 
raises  too  much  dust,"  he  remarked  with 
a  twinkle. 

"  Oh,"  exclaimed  Augusta. 

"  No,  you  don't  mean  '  Oh  ' ; — you 
mean  dough,"  corrected  Mickey. 

Flaherty  from  his  seat  in  the  hall  over- 
heard the  remarks  and  the  chuckle  that 
came  from  Tucker  Dan,  who  had  nearly 
forgotten  his  woes  in  the  lively  company. 
So  Flaherty  looked  in  at  the  party  and 
96 


At  the  Hospital 


suggested  pleasantly  that  Mr.  Binny  had 
been  on  a  bat — or  the  bat  had  been  on 
Tucker  Dan ;  Flaherty  didn't  know  which. 

At  this  Tucker  Dan  got  mad  through 
and  through  and  growled,  but  Salvina 
sat  on  the  edge  of  the  bed  and  kicked 
her  heels,  and  Mickey  and  Augusta  tee- 
hee-d  so  loudly  that  the  nurse  came 
around  and  cautioned  them.  Anyway 
Tucker  Dan  never  forgave  Flaherty  for 
making  such  a  remark  before  Salvina, 
and  he  then  and  there  made  up  his  mind 
to  get  even  some  day. 

Soon  the  girls  and  their  father  started 
to  go,  and  Salvina,  lingering  ever  so  little 
behind  the  others,  cautiously  slipped  a 
rosebud  into  Tucker's  hands.  The  boy 
hid  it  beneath  the  bedclothes  lest  Mickey 
should  see,  and  before  he  could  thank 
the  pretty  little  maid  she  was  gone.  Au- 
gusta, too,  had  a  rose,  however,  when  she 
came  in ;  and  glancing  sidewise,  Tucker 
97 


Tucker  Dan 

Dan  saw  her  slipping  it  to  Mickey,  who 
grabbed  at  it  eagerly. 

"  I  brought  it  for  Tuck  because  he's 
sick ;  but  I'd  rather  you'd  keep  it,  'cause 
he  ain't  sick  enough,"  she  said  beneath 
her  breath  to  Mickey  as  she  followed  her 
sister  out.  Mickey  looked  after  her  and 
then  at  Tucker  Dan  guiltily.  The  inva- 
lid maintained  a  severe  calmness  that 
was  baffling,  pretending  not  to  have  seen 
any  of  the  byplay. 

Then  Connor  began  :  "  You  needn't  be 
afraid  to  show  that  rose,  Tuck ;  I  know 
you  got  it  under  the  clothes." 

"  That's  better  than  taking  a  rose  that 
wasn't  brought  for  you.  You're  second 
choice,  Mickey, — gimme  that  rose  you 
got." 

"  Nit,"  answered  Mick  blushing ;  "  when 
you're  sick   I'm   second   choice  maybe ; 
but   I'm   first  choice  when   you're  well. 
— You're  well  now." 
98 


At  the  Hospital 


The  argument  might  have  grown  warm 
but  that  Tim  Flaherty  stuck  his  head 
through  the  door  and  remarked  caustic- 
ally, "  One'd  think  you'se  were  goin'  to 
have  a  funeral,  seein'  the  number  of 
flowers  you'se  getting.  Or  begorra,  is  it 
a  couple  of  marriages  that's  coming  off?  " 

Mickey  and  Tucker  Dan  ground  their 
teeth  in  dismay.  Tim  Flaherty  was  the 
last  man  in  the  world  they  would  have 
trusted  with  their  heart  secrets ;  and  now 
he  had  seen  it  all  and  wasn't  a  bit  anxious 
to  let  them  off  easily. 

"  It  seems  to  me,"  he  continued,  "  that 
ye  be  getting  pretty  daring  to  be  love- 
making  at  yer  tender  years.  You  boys'll 
get  a  tattoo  played  on  yer  if  you  don't 
manage  to  do  better'n  that.  I'll  have  to 
tell  me  chums  on  the  force  to  keep  an  eye 
on  yez." 

Tucker  Dan  was  getting  blue  in  the 
face  and  was  about  to  say  something  rash, 
99 


Tucker  Dan 

-when  Dr.  Nash  again  hove  in  sight  and 
stood  at  the  foot  of  the  bed,  a  monumen- 
tal mass  of  flesh  and  good  nature. 

"  O'Hara  has  come  to.  You're  safe, 
Tucker  Dan  Pils." 

The  victim  forgot  all  about  Flaherty  in 
the  exuberance  of  his  joy,  and  Mickey 
forgot  his  respect  for  the  man  of  surgery 
and  remarked,  "  Bully  for  you,  Doc." 

The  doctor  sat  down  side  wise  to  the  bed 
so  that  he  could  get  nearer,  and  said 
something  to  the  patient,  who  turned 
half  over. 

"  All  right,"  said  Tucker  Dan  pointing 
vaguely  to  his  back  ;  "  life  is  worth  living 
now,  Doc ;  you  can  pick  the  shot  out 
now."  An4  for  two  hours  Dr.  Nash 
picked. 

Meanwhile   Flaherty  went  home,  and 

Tom  Hooley,  another  member  of  the  force, 

took  his  place  on  the  chair  in  ,the  hall. 

Hooley  was  a  wonder.     He  was  the  next 

100 


At  the  Hospital 


biggest  man  to  Dr.  Nash  in  the  county. 
He  weighed  two  hundred  and  ninety,  but 
was  so  short  that  they  gave  him  regular 
sitting  jobs  only.  He  had  been  quite 
slim  when  he  joined  the  force  ten  years 
before,  but  he  had  grown  like  a  porpoise, 
and  was  now  no  good  on  the  beat ;  though 
he  could  hold  a  chair  down  like  a  rivet. 
He  was  the  exact  opposite  to  Flaherty  in 
appearance,  and  was  the  best  laugher  in 
the  district.  When  he  spied  Dr.  Nash 
picking  shot  from  Tucker  Dan  he  started 
in  to  laugh  quietly,  and  he  kept  it  up 
so  long  that  he  set  his  chair  to  thumping, 
and  all  the  convalescent  patients  in  the 
ward, — who  couldn't  see  into  the  hall — 
grew  anxious  to  know  what  kind  of  a 
machine  had  been  put  up  there. 

Finally   Dr.    Nash   finished   with   the 

shot  picking,  and,  followed  by  the  house 

staff  at  a  respectful  distance,  he  made  for 

the  door  in  a  dignified  stride.     Just  at 

101 


Tucker  Dan 

this  very  moment  Hooley  suddenly  made 
up  his  mind  that  he  needed  a  drink,  and, 
rising  from  his  chair  in  the  hall,  made  for 
the  water  tank  just  inside  the  ward  door. 

In  this  life  things  sometimes  happen  in 
a  most  curious  manner.  Hooley  had 
been  thirsty  for  an  hour  —  and  why 
did  he  make  up  his  mind  to  drink  at  just 
the  wrong  moment? 

Dr.  Nash  didn't  see  him, — neither  did 
he  see  Dr.  Nash ;  but  in  about  two 
seconds  they  came  together  bows  on,  at 
the  threshold.  Hooley  got  an  awful  jolt, 
and  Dr.  Nash  tottered  in  his  tracks. 
Next  instant  they  both  advanced  again 
on  the  recoil,  and  both  got  wedged  in  the 
doorway.  Hooley  faced  north  into  the 
ward,  Dr.  Nash  faced  south  into  the  hall, 
and  neither  could  budge  an  inch.  There 
they  stood  pressed  like  sardines  in  a  box, 
and  Hooley  commenced  to  laugh.  He 
gave  one  roar  and  the  expanding  of  his 
102 


At  the  Hospital 


side  crushed  Dr.  Nash  so  that  the  physi- 
cian took  a  long  breath  in  reprisals  and 
crushed  Hooley. 

The  ward  was  an  interesting  place  for 
anybody  just  then. 

"  Mickey,  for  the  love  of  Moses,  bust 
that  formation  ; — rush  the  centre,"  yelled 
Tucker  Dan  sitting  up  in  bed ;  and 
Mickey,  remembering  that  he  owed  Dr. 
Nash  somewhat  for  professional  services 
at  the  Martin  house  a  few  weeks  before, 
took  a  flying  leap  at  the  back  of  that  gen- 
tleman's knees ;  and  the  wedge  collapsed 
like  a  balloon. 

Dr.  Nash's  spotless  clothes  now  looked 
second  hand,  and  Hooley's  uniform  would 
have  made  a  good  souvenir.  Mickey  dis- 
appeared as  Dr.  Nash  bowed  low  to 
Hooley  and  as  Hooley  bowed  lower  to 
the  doctor.  The  incident  was  closed, 
but  there  was  no  sleep  until  late  in  the 
ward  that  night. 

103 


CHAPTER  EIGHT 

AN  ATTACK  OF  THE  GOUT 

NCLE  BINNY  took  to  his  bed 
and  stayed  there  for  some 
time.  The  minister  called 
to  see  him  two  or  three  times 
and  talked  with  him  on  the 
mistakes  of  life  and  how  easy 
it  was  to  rectify  them.  Dr. 
Nash  interviewed  him  once  and  then  told 
Aunt  Amy  that  it  was  a  clear  case  of  the 
"  mortifications "  and  that  time  would 
cure  him ;  and  if  it  didn't,  he  would  ad- 
vise her  to  get  a  divorce  and  let  some  one 
else  have  him.  Aunt  Amy  felt  quite 
hurt  at  the  doctor's  levity,  especially 
when  she  remembered  that  it  was  largely 
her  fault  that  her  husband  had  developed 
a  retiring  disposition. 
104 


An  Attack  of  the  Gout 


Tucker  Dan  improved  rapidly  and  Mr. 
O'Hara  got  well  without  any  kitchen 
utensils  being  inserted  in  his  skull ;  and 
together  they  left  the  hospital  in  the  same 
carriage.  O'Hara  bore  no  hard  feelings, 
for  he  realized  the  nature  of  the  accident, 
and  besides  he  had  had  a  week's  rest  and 
considerable  comfort  at  the  hospital ;  in 
fact,  much  more  than  he  had  ever  en- 
joyed before  in  the  same  length  of  time. 
Uncle  Binny  expected  to  pay  the  bill ;  so 
that  made  O'Hara's  enforced  vacation  a 
godsend,  for  he  was  a  school-teacher, 
drawing  the  usual  manly  salary  and  he 
needed  the  rest. 

Tucker  Dan  upon  his  arrival  home 
went  up-stairs  to  see  Uncle  Binny  and  to 
forgive  him  for  what  he  had  done. 
Uncle  Binny  looked  careworn  and  sour, 
and  Tucker  Dan  pitied  him  from  the  bot- 
tom of  his  heart. 

Mr.  Binny  sat  in  an  armchair,  in  his 
105 


Tucker  Dan 

dressing-gown,  a  syphon  of  soda  on 
the  table  and  a  pitcher  of  milk  along- 
side. It  was  evident  he  was  on  a 
light  diet.  When  he  saw  his  nephew 
he  winced  and  extended  his  hand 
slowly. 

"  Tucker,"  he  murmured,  "  the  brick- 
batting  was  a  mistake." 

"  It  was,  uncle." 

"  Yes,  a  painful  mistake,  if  I  remember 
correctly,  Tucker  Dan." 

"  Yessir." 

"Well,  you're  all  healed  up  now,  so 
come  and  kneel  at  the  side  of  your 
mother's  brother,  my  boy." 

Tucker  Dan  went,  and  looking  up  at 
the  weasened  face  was  suddenly  seized 
with  contrition.  "  I  am  going  to  reform, 
uncle,"  he  whispered. 

"  So  am  I,"  blurted  out  Mr.  Binny ; 
then  seeing  his  mistake,  he  corrected 
himself.  "  You  need  to,  Tucker  Dan 
106 


An  Attack  of  the  Gout 


Pils,  if  anybody  does  ;  you  and  your  dear 
friend  Mickey." 

"  Will  I  have  to  start  in  on  milk  and 
soda,  uncle,  and  will  I  have  to  keep  my- 
self in  the  house,  where  nobody  can  size 
me  up  ? "  There  was  a  sly  flash  in 
Tucker  Dan's  near  eye  as  he  spoke. 

Uncle  Binny  squirmed  in  his  chair  and 
said,  "  My  milk  diet,  Tuck,  is  for  the 
gout." 

"  I  don't  see  why  you  need  anything 
like  that.  Dr.  Nash  told  me  you  had  the 
1  mortifications '  t'  other  day  at  the  hos- 
pital, and  I  thought  maybe  if  I  had  the 
1  sorrows  '  for  what  I'd  done,  I'd  get  the 
same  dose." 

Uncle  Binny  stood  up  in  an  instant. 
"  Darn  that  mountainous  mass  of  fat ; — 
darn  that  Nash  anyway.  He  said  that, 
did  he?  He'll  never  doctor  me  any 
more."  Then  Uncle  Binny  heaved  a 
magazine  at  the  syphon  of  soda. 
107 


Tucker  Dan 

It  hit.  There  was  a  great  explosion, 
and  the  milk  pitcher  responded  promptly, 
bordering  the  picture  of  the  Prodigal  Son 
on  the  wall  with  a  layer  of  milk.  Tucker 
Dan  went  under  the  table  and  thence  he 
slid  backwards  under  the  bed. 

Uncle  Binny  looked  at  the  pieces  of 
the  syphon  on  the  floor  and  the  milk  on 
the  carpet  and  started  to  tear  his  hair, 
but  he  couldn't;  it  was  creamed  and 
slippery. 

Aunt  Amy  looked  in  at  the  door  shiver- 
ing with  fright.  "  Binny,  what's  hap- 
pened ?  "  she  chattered. 

Tucker  Dan's  uncle  didn't  say  a  word, 
but  grabbed  the  waste-paper  basket  and 
shied  it  at  his  wife.  He  was  over- 
strained and  decidedly  nervous.  Aunt 
Amy  backed  down-stairs  and  locked  her- 
self in  the  kitchen,  as  Tucker  Dan 
shouted,  "  It's  only  the  gout,  Aunt  A.  A. 
Uncle's  got  a  terrible  pain." 
108 


An  Attack  of  the  Gout 


When  Uncle  Binny  quieted  down,  he 
was  of  the  same  color  and  as  mushy  as  a 
stewed  tomato.  "  Tucker  Dan,"  he  mur- 
mured, "  stick  to  that  story.  It's  the 
gout ;  otherwise  I'm  lost.  They'll  have 
me  in  a  rest  cure  sure." 

"  Yes,"  said  Tucker  Dan,  feebly,  taking 
the  cue  and  appearing  from  under  the 
bed.  "  Yes,  uncle,  which  toe  has  got  the 
gout  ?  We  got  to  tell  a  straight  story." 

"  This  one  on  the  left.  Paint  it  with 
iodine,  Tuck.  Make  it  look  sick.  Give 
it  the  devil." 

Tucker  Dan  painted  the  left  big  toe 
with  iodine,  and  for  the  first  time  in  his 
life  really  began  to  get  acquainted  with 
his  Uncle  Binny. 

"  Tucker  Dan,"  said  the  gentleman, 
"  if  this  gets  out,  they'll  say  I'm  clear 
gone.  I  rely  on  your  honor  as  a  man,  to 
keep  this  quiet." 

"  Yep,"  answered  Tucker  Dan,  who 
109 


Tucker  Dan 

now  began  to  realize  that  after  all  his 
Uncle  Binny  was  no  "  slouch."  "  Don't 
you  think  if  I  rub  that  big  toe  joint  with 
the  pumice  stone,  that  it'll  look  redder, 
more  like  the  gout  ?  "  he  volunteered. 

Uncle  Binny  tipped  him  a  wink  and 
Tucker  Dan  seized  the  pumice  stone  from 
the  wash-stand  and  began  to  work  ener- 
getically and  carefully. 

Then  he  put  on  some  more  iodine,  and 
realized,  after  a  minute,  that  he  had 
rubbed  some  of  the  outer  skin  too  much. 
Mr.  Binny  gave  a  whoop  when  the  smart- 
ing began,  and  was  on  the  bed  in  an 
instant,  gyrating  around  like  a  dervish 
doing  a  twirl.  "Heavens,  Tucker  Dan, 
heavens  !  "  he  yelled,  "  ain't  you  got  any 
sense?" 

Whenever  Mr.  Binny  was  excited  he 
lost  his  grammar.     "  Throw  the  iodine 
out  er  the  window,   throw  it  out,  you 
fool ;  throw  it  out  or  I'll  throw  you." 
110 


An  Attack  of  the  Gout 


Tucker  Dan  threw  it,  and  looked  in 
blank  amazement  at  his  uncle  as  he  tried 
to  dip  his  toe  in  the  wash-basin.  "  Golly," 
he  murmured,  "  if  that  ain't  the  gout, 
it's  a  close  second.  I'll  fetch  Aunt 
A.  A." 

When  she  came,  led  by  Tucker  Dan, 
they  put  Mr.  Binny  to  bed,  and  cleaned 
up  the  wreckage.  Later,  when  she 
stepped  down-stairs,  Tucker  sat  on  the 
edge  of  the  bed,  and  seizing  his  uncle's 
hand,  said,  "  Uncle  Bin,  I  really  didn't 
mean  it — I  didn't  do  it  for  revenge. 
Honest,  I  didn't." 

Uncle  Binny  looked  carefully  at  the 
boy  and  saw  that  he  was  speaking  the 
truth.  "  Kid,"  he  said,  with  shaking 
voice,  "  keep  mum." 

And  Tucker,  realizing  that  Uncle  Binny 
was  nearly  a  nervous  wreck,  stooped  over 
and   kissed   him ;   and   the   man  gently 
folded  the  youngster  to  his  breast. 
Ill 


Tucker  Dan 

Uncle  Binny  and  Tucker  Dan  were 
great  chums  after  that. 

The  two  had  a  long  confab  ;  what  they 
discussed  was  strictly  confidential,  but  it 
seemed  to  have  a  great  effect  on  Tucker 
Dan.  Aunt  Amy  noticed  a  change  in 
him  that  night,  and  in  a  few  days  she 
saw  that  Mr.  Binny  was  showing  a  desire 
to  come  out  of  hiding.  There  was  a 
solemnity  about  the  man  and  the  boy 
that  was  most  attractive,  but  so  unnatural 
as  to  be  alarming ;  especially  was  this  the 
case  with  Tucker  Dan,  who  went  about 
his  duties  in  a  dignified  and  temperate 
manner  that  made  Aunt  Amy  expect 
him  to  burst  any  minute. 

"  I  don't  know  what  ails  Binny  and  the 
boy,"  she  said,  one  day  to  Mrs.  Connor ; 
"  but  I  declare  to  goodness  if  there 
ain't  some  mischief  brewing  then  I'm  no 
good." 

"Mischief  nothing,"  replied  her  neigh- 
112 


An  Attack  of  the  Goat 


bor.  "  Mickey  has  got  the  same  disease, 
— he's  so  all-fired  sober  that  Mr.  Connor's 
actually  'fraid  he'll  explode  an'  set  things 
afire  all  at  once." 

"  What  do  you  suppose  it  is  ?  "  queried 
Aunt  Amy  dolefully. 

"  Reformation ;  nothing  in  the  world 
but  reformation.  Your  husband  has  been 
talking  to  Tucker  Dan,  and  Tucker  Dan 
has  been  filling  my  boy  full  of  advice ;  I 
know  it." 

"  The  seed  has  fallen  on  a  fruitful 
place,"  murmured  Aunt  Amy.  "  Binny 
was  always  a  good  talker." 

"  Well,  I'll  tell  you  how  I  know.  I 
heard  Tucker  Dan  tell  Mick  that  being 
good  wasn't  so  hard  as  being  bad  and 
getting  shot." 

Aunt  Amy  shook  her  head  sadly.  "  It 
won't  last.  It's  only  temporary." 

"  Maybe,  but  there  is  no  telling ;  those 
things  spread  sometimes.  They  do  say 
113 


Tucker  Dan 

that  Mick  and  Tucker  Dan  are  just  pitch- 
ing into  things  at  school." 

"  Guess  that's  so.  Tucker  Dan  ain't 
doing  any  pitching  in  at  home,  'cept  into 
the  food,"  remarked  Aunt  Amy  with 
slightly  more  vivacity. 

Mrs.  Connor  laughed  as  she  started  to 
go.  "  That  reminds  me,  I  heard  Mick 
ask  Tucker  Dan  if  he  thought  they  could 
reform  Dr.  Nash  for  Uncle  Bin's  sake ; 
and  Tucker  Dan  said  the  only  way  to 
reform  Dr.  Nash  was  to  melt  him  into 
butter  and  pitch  him  into  a  new 
mould." 

"  And  what  did  your  boy  say  to 
that?" 

"  Well,"  chuckled  Mrs.  Connor,  "  Mick 
said  if  Dr.  Nash  would  sell  as  butter 
he'd  catch  Mr.  Hooley,  the  policeman, 
and  melt  him  and  start  an  opposition 
dairy." 

"  For  the  land's  sake,  sit  down  and 
114 


An  Attack  of  the  Gout 


have  another  cup  of  tea,"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Binny.  "  Maybe  the  boys  are  poor  speci- 
mens, but  I  declare  to  goodness  I  wouldn't 
trade  'em  for  the  whole  of  Sorrento." 


115 


CHAPTER  NINE 

TUCK  SEES  THE  DOCTOR 

[HE  wave  of  reform  had  in- 
deed struck  home.  Even 
Tucker's  desire  to  get  square 
with  Policeman  Flaherty  had 
been  forgotten  for  a  while  at 
least.  Tuck  was  quite  an- 
other fellow  at  school,  and 
rapidly  advanced  to  the  head  of  his  class, . 
a  position  that  was  his  by  rights,  but 
which  he  never  before  had  attained,  hav- 
ing been  too  busy  with  the  more  active 
pursuits  of  life.  When  he  finally  reached 
the  top  of  the  ladder  Salvina  was  very 
proud,  for  she  cherished  a  deep  and  de- 
veloping affection  for  Tuck,  and  she  was 
not  jealous  of  him,  for  her  position  was 
next  to  the  last  in  the  class,  and  she 
116 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


never  expected  to  lead  it  herself,  unless 
she  led  it  backwards. 

Salvina  was  a  little  beauty,  and  her 
bright  blue  eyes  beamed  in  merriment  al- 
ways, but  they  didn't  beam  much  mathe- 
matics and  such  things. 

Augusta  was  somewhere  near  the 
middle  of  the  class  and  always  in  doubt, 
as  Salvina  said.  Nobody  knew  when 
Augusta  might  take  a  brace  and  reach 
the  top,  or  when  she  might  take  a  slide 
and  drop  into  the  next  lower  class  with 
a  mushy  thud.  Salvina's  position  next 
to  the  last,  however,  had  been  a  steady  one. 

And  last  of  all  was  Mickey.  He  never 
had  been  dropped,  and  never  would  be, 
for  one  hour's  study  a  day  sufficed  to 
keep  him  hanging  on.  He  didn't  care 
about  taking  a  scholarly  brace.  What 
was  the  use,  as  long  as  he  hung  onto  the 
same  class  with  Augusta  and  his  dear 
friend  Tucker  Dan  Pils  ? 
117 


Tucker  Dan 

But  the  reform  movement  was  break- 
ing up  all  happiness.  Tucker  was  get- 
ting anxious  to  lead  the  universe,  and 
his  friends  saw  that  he  soon  would  be 
promoted. 

One  day  the  head  and  the  foot  of  the 
class  went  home  together  and  Mickey 
said,  "  Tuck,  you're  changed  awful  since 
you  got  up  in  the  world.  Salvina's 
afraid  you  are  going  to  leave  her  be- 
hind." 

"  Mickey,"  said  Tuck,  "  I'm  going  to 
better  myself.  You  know  yourself  that 
we've  been  calves  long  enough.  We're  a 
couple  of  disgraces  to  our  families.  As 
for  the  girls,  I'm  through  with  them. 
I'm  going  to  be  a  civil  engineer." 

"  That's  good,"  assented  Mickey,  "  but 
did  you  see  Salvina  crying  yesterday 
when  you  went  home  alone?  " 

"  What  you  kiddin'  me  for  ?  " 

"  Honest,  I  seen  her  and  it  was  because 
118 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


you  wouldn't  go  home  with  her,  Augusta 
says." 

"  Mick,  you  don't  understand.  I'm 
busy  with  my  books, — I've  reformed." 

Mickey  turned  and  faced  his  friend. 
"  You're  a  fool,  Tucker  Dan  Pils ;  you 
ain't  worth  two  tears  from  any  girl's 
eyes,  and  you're  a  boiled  lobster  and  a 
chuck  steak.  You're  so  darned  con- 
ceited that  you've  forgotten  how  to 
skin  a  rabbit ;  and  you're  missing  all 
the  fun  in  life.  You're  a  bloated,  good- 
for-nothing  aristocrat,  an'  you  make  the 
chickens  cackle  when  you  go  by." 

Tucker  Dan  put  down  his  books  on  the 
grass,  and  took  off  his  coat  as  Mickey  did 
likewise.  "  You  sassy  cuss,"  he  remarked 
between  his  teeth.  "  You  don't  know 
what  reform  means." 

"  I  know  that  reform  on  you  looks  like 
your  Uncle  Binny  on  that  log  swimmin' 
from  the  beach.  Funny,  so  funny,  I  has 
119 


Tucker  Dan 

ter  laugh.  Your  reform  is  tiresome, 
Tucker  Dan  Pils,  and  I'm  going  to 
bust  it." 

Mickey  side  stepped  and  led  with  his 
left,  catching  Tucker  on  the  neck.  The 
next  moment  Mickey  bent  over  with  his 
hand  on  his  aching  stomach.  Then  they 
clinched  and  rolled  over  on  the  grass. 

The  scholars  rushed  to  witness  the 
fight  as  the  boys  got  up  and  yelled 
at  each  other.  Then  Mickey  caught 
Tucker  on  the  eye,  and  the  champion 
of  reform  caught  Mickey  on  the  nose. 
But  Connor  was  strong,  and  in  another 
minute  Tucker  was  on  the  ground,  and 
Mickey  was  astride  him. 

"  Promise  not  to  reform  any  more,"  ex- 
claimed the  conqueror.  "  Promise  or  I'll 
break  your  slats." 

"  Go  to "  but  Tucker  who  was  now 

rolling  over  and  over  with  his  antagonist, 

said  no  more ;  for  Mickey  punched  him 

120 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


so  hard  that  he  was  as  limp  as  a 
rag. 

Salvina  bent  over  him  and  wiped 
the  grass  stains  from  his  manly  brow; 
and  Mickey  slung  his  books  on  his 
shoulder  and  walked  off,  remarking 
audibly,  "  Now  you  quit  yer  fooling, 
Pils,  and  come  around  and  see  me  ; 
but  don't  you  give  me  none  of  yer 
reform." 

Tucker  Dan  sat  up.  "  Salvina,"  he 
whispered,  "I'll  go  home  with  you  next 
Friday,  if  you'll  let  me." 

"  All  right,"  she  lisped,  "  all  right,  but 
don't  let  any  one  hear." 

Thus  reform  exploded,  and  love  tri- 
umphed ! 

Tucker  dropped  from  the  top  of  the 
class  immediately,  and  Uncle  Binny  lost 
control  of  him  entirely.  Mickey  never 
said  a  word,  but  the  twins  regarded  him 
with  much  respect.  The  fight  had  not 
121 


Tucker  Dan 

ruffled  the  school  any ;  such  occurrences 
were  too  common  ;  but  every  one  noticed 
that  Tucker  went  home  with  Salvina  on 
Friday. 

Just  before  reaching  her  home  that 
day  he  remarked  to  her,  "  I'll  never  for- 
get how  you  wiped  my  face  that  day ; 
it  was  awful  kind." 

"  Oh !  never  mind,  Tuck,"  she  an- 
swered. "  I  couldn't  help  it.  I — I — 
hate  a  stuck  up  fellow,  and  you  looked 
so  awful  lopsy." 

"  Guess,  I  did,"  mused  the  boy.  "  Mick 
landed  awful  hard." 

"  Yes,  Tuck,"  she  whispered,  as  she 
extended  her  hand  and  placed  it  gently 
upon  his,  for  a  moment.  "  Yes,  but  I 
like  you  much  better  now  ;  I  like  you 
very " 

"  Do  you  sure  ?  "  he  exclaimed,  as  she 
dashed   away  from  him  with  a  teasing 
laugh.     "  Then  I'm  glad  I  got  licked." 
122 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


He  wheeled,  and  went  off  towards 
the  Binny  home,  whistling  as  loudly 
as  he  could.  On  the  way  he  encoun- 
tered Mickey  perched  on  a  fence,  look- 
ing solemn  as  an  owl.  Tucker  was  mor- 
tified and  passed  him  by ;  but  Connor 
called  to  him,  "  Come  here,  you  has-been, 
— ain't  that  a  lot  better  than  being  a  re- 
former an'  head  of  the  class  ?  " 

"  What !  "  exclaimed  the  pedestrian, 
the  color  rising  to  his  face. 

"  Making  up  to  Salvina  Martin, — you 
can't  throw  a  bluff  at  me,  you  graduated 
reformer." 

"  I'll  lick  you ;  I'll  maul  you." 

"  Nit,  not  yet, — some  other  day.  Be 
good  and  I'll  tell  you  how  to  get  even 
with  Tim  Flaherty." 

"  Go  ahead,"  said  Tucker  Dan,  taking 
a  seat  on  the  same  rail  with  Mickey,  and 
letting  bygones  be  bygones  at  once. 

"  Well,"  began  Mickey,  "  Tim  Flaherty 
123 


Tucker  Dan 

has  been  telling  all  the  force  that  you 
and  I  are  in  love,  and  you  oughter  hear 
them  kid  you  behind  your  back." 

Tucker  glowered.  "  Why  didn't  you 
tell  me  before?" 

"  Because  you  got  the  reforms  so  bad 
you  wasn't  a  darn  bit  interesting." 

"Well?" 

"  Well,  do  you  know,  Tuck,  what 
Flaherty's  been  doing  to-day  ?  " 

"  No." 

"  He  was  chasing  a  thief  over  Dr. 
Nash's  back  fence,  and  he  plugged  the  doc- 
tor's hoss  in  the  after  leg  with  a  bullet." 

"  Jiminy,  then  Dr.  Nash  would  be  a 
good  one  to  see." 

"  'Seems  to  me  so ;  he  can't  be  overfond 
of  Flaherty,  and  he  does  like  us,  so  we 
might  make  a  deal." 

Tucker  thought  long  and  earnestly. 
"  Leave  it  to  me,"  he  exclaimed.  "  I'll 
let  you  know." 

124 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


"  Remember,"  Mickey  cried,  as  his 
friend  disappeared  in  the  distance,  "  I'm 
with  yer." 

"  Sure." 

The  two  were  once  again  in  action,  and 
all  past  performances  of  unfriendly  nature 
were,  then  and  there,  forgiven  in  the 
close  bond  of  chumship  and  boyhood. 

Tucker  Dan  wanted  to  see  Dr.  Nash 
awfully,  but  he  did  not  want  the  physi- 
cian to  know  that  he  was  so  anxious. 
He  couldn't  wait  until  evening,  so  he 
decided  to  see  the  doctor  before  his  office 
hours. 

First,  he  found  great  difficulty  in  swal- 
lowing, and  complained  of  a  pain  in  his 
left  shoulder,  and  Aunt  Amy  thought  a 
poultice  would  do ;  but  Tuck  demurred. 

He  then  remembered  that  Uncle  Binny 
wasn't  very  fond  of  Dr.  Nash  at  present, 
so  he  acted  accordingly. 

"  Aunt  Amy,  I  don't  want  Uncle  Bin 
125 


Tucker  Dan 

to  know,  it  worries  him  so.  He's  had  a 
lot  of  worries  lately,  but  I  do  feel  aw- 
fully sort  er  sick." 

Mrs.  Binny  looked  at  him  out  of  the 
corner  of  her  eye  and  mentally  decided 
that  he  did  look  somewhat  sick. 

Tucker  tried  to  swallow  some  water 
and  she  saw  that  it  hurt  him. 

"  You  better  take  this  change,"  she 
said,  as  she  handed  him  two  fifty-cent 
pieces,  "  and  go  and  see  Dr.  Nash ;  but 
don't  let  your  uncle  know." 

It  had  worked  out  just  as  the  boy  had 
planned.  "Thanks,  Aunt  Amy,"  he 
said.  "  I  wouldn't  worry  poor  Nunc  ;  he 
can't  stand  much  since  that  attack  er 
gout." 

"  No,  Tuck,  he  can't  and  the  house 
can't ;  if  he  gets  'nother  attack  like  the 
last  one,  I  declare  to  goodness  the 
chickens  won't  lay  no  more  this  season. 
They've  got  the  hysterics  now — they 
126 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


cackle  and  cavort  round  whenever  the 
horse  whinnies,  or  the  cow  moos." 

"Well,"  drawled  Tucker,  "yer  can't 
expect  'em  ter  know  everything ;  they 
didn't  know  it  was  a  syphon  of  soda 
on  a  bust  with  Nunc  Binny ;  but  I 
guess  I'll  be  going.  So  long,  Aunt  A.  A. 
Thanks." 

He  seized  his  hat  and  slouched  out  of 
the  door,  intense  misery  and  suffering  on 
his  face. 

"  I  hope  it  ain't  the  shakes  a  coming 
on,"  murmured  Aunt  Amy ;  "  but  I  de- 
clare to  goodness  I  believe  he's  got  the 
fakes  pure  an'  simple  'stead  er  the 
shakes  ;  he  ain't  had  'em  for  some  time. 
This  reform  movement  ain't  a-going  to 
last  forever — no  matter  what  Mrs.  Connor 
thinks.  We'll  see  Tucker  Dan  coming 
back  cured  pretty  soon,  shakes  or  fakes." 

It  was  pretty  hard  to  fool  Aunt  Amy. 

Dr.  Nash  happened  to  be  in  when 
127 


Tucker  Dan 

Tucker  called  at  five  o'clock  and  the  boy 
walked  stoop  shouldered  into  the  office. 
The  physician  greeted  him  cheerily. 
"  Hello,  Pils,  you  look  as  though  you 
needed  more  shot  picking.  What  have 
they  been  doing  to  that  back  of 
yours  ?  " 

"  I  think  I  got  the  shakes,  Doc ;  my 
throat  an'  back  feel  all  gone." 

Dr.  Nash  decided  to  have  some  fun 
with  his  young  friend. 

"  What  kind  of  an  examination  do  you 
want?"  he  queried. 

"  Thorough,"  murmured  Tuck,  "  thor- 
ough." Then  as  an  afterthought  he 
queried,  "  How  much  does  it  cost  ?  " 

The  physician  leaned  back  in  his 
especially  made  chair,  his  eyes  twin- 
kling. 

"  Well,  I  tell  you,  Pils,  we  fellows  have 
a  system.  Now  if  I  look  at  your  throat 
by  electric  light,"  and  he  pointed  to  the 
128 


Tuck  Sees  the  Doctor 


expensive  electrical  outfit  in  his  office  as 
he  spoke,  "  that  will  cost  you  two  dollars. 
If  I  look  at  you  up  here  near  the  window 
by  sunlight — and  it  does  just  exactly  as 
well,  by  the  way — that  will  cost  you  one 
dollar  in  advance,  examination  of  your 
chest  thrown  in." 

Tuck  saw  the  twinkle  in  Dr.  Nash's 
eyes  and  walked  slowly  towards  the  win- 
dow and  gazed  out  upon  the  beautiful 
lawn  and  the  woods. 

He  knew  the  night  would  be  a  glorious 
moonlight  one.  He  thought  a  while, 
then  turned  and  meandered  towards  the 
doctor's  desk. 

"  Two  dollars  for  electric  light — one 
dollar  for  sunlight,"  he  said,  looking 
keenly  at  the  doctor. 

Then  he  fished  up  a  fifty  cent  piece  and 
laid  it  on  the  desk  and  walked  to  the 
door    before    the    astonished    physician 
knew  what  he  was  up  to. 
129 


Tucker  Dan 

"  What  is  that  for  ?  "  enquired  the  man 
of  weight. 

"  That's  pay  in  advance,"  exclaimed 
Tucker  Dan. 

"  Yes,  but  come  here,  it's  one  dollar  the 
cheapest." 

"  Well,"  drawled  the  boy,  "  you've  got 
a  sliding  scale  of  price  to  suit  the  light." 

"  Yes." 

"  Well,  then  I'll  call  again,  to-night. 
The  examination  by  moonlight  will  be 
fifty  cents."  And  forth  he  slouched. 


130 


CHAPTER  TEN 

FLAHERTY  GETS  A  LESSON 

[T  eight  o'clock  that  evening 
Tucker  called  to  see  Dr.  Nash 
again.  As  he  had  told 
Mickey,  who  remained  out- 
side, the  physician  was  too 
frisky  in  the  afternoon  ;  it 
wasn't  any  use  trying  to 
open  up  any  conversation  with  a  man 
when  he  felt  too  fly. 

When  the  boy  faced  the  doctor  for  the 
second  time  the  man  was  considerably 
more  dignified. 

He  had  a  wholesome  respect  for  any 
one  who  could  reduce  fees  as  Tucker  had 
done  that  afternoon.  The  fifty  cents  still 
stood  on  the  desk,  a  reminder  to  both 
that  the  occasion  was  to  be  a  serious  one. 
131 


Tucker  Dan 

Dr.  Nash  looked  his  patient  over  care- 
fully, then  remarked,  "  I  don't  think  you 
need  anything  except  a  rest  in  bed  for  a 
day  or  two.  I'll  'phone  over  to  Mr. 
Binny  and  tell  him  to  put  you  there." 

Tucker  thought  a  moment  and  realized 
that  the  doctor  had  him.  "  I'll  tell  you, 
Doc,"  he  laughed,  "  I  came  to  find  out 
how  your  hoss  is  getting  along.  Mick 
and  I  wanted  to  know,  and  we  didn't 
wanter  come  'less  we  were  sick." 

Dr.  Nash  smiled.  "  I  suspected  you, 
Pils.  My  horse  is  done  for.  Tim  Flah- 
erty is  a  near-sighted  idiot." 

"  That's  what  we  think,  and  Mick  and 
I  owe  him  a  lesson." 

The  physician  began  to  understand. 
Slowly  he  swung  back  in  his  chair. 

"  Ah  !  that  love  affair,  eh  ?  " 

Tucker  winced.     "  Say,  Doc,"  he  said, 
confidentially,  "  let  me  have  a  suit  of  your 
old  clothes,  will  you?" 
132 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


"  What  for  ?  " 

"  We  want  to  teach  Flaherty  a  lesson — 
nobody'll  know  we  did  it.  Flaherty's 
got  ter  find  you  dead  in  the  road  ;  and  he 
can't  see  in  the  dark,  and  he  will  get  in 
an  awful  scrape." 

"  Tucker  Dan  Pils,"  exclaimed  the  phy- 
sician, "  you  want  to  stuff  my  clothes  and 
palm  them  off  for  me  ?  " 

"Yep." 

"  Well,  I  won't  give  you  any,  you 
rascal,  but,"  and  here  Nash  looked  out 
of  the  window,  "  if  you  saunter  into  the 
attic,  you'll  find  what  you  want — only 
don't  give  me  away." 

Nash  threw  the  fifty  cents  at  Tucker 
and  the  latter  went  quickly  up  the  back 
stairs. 

"  The  house  is  empty,  Tuck,"  remarked 
the  doctor  encouragingly.  "  But  heaven 
help  you  if  I  see  you  steal." 

Then  he  looked  out  of  the  window  so 
133 


Tucker  Dan 

he  couldn't  see  any  one,  or  hear  any  one, 
or  know  anything. 

After  a  few  minutes  the  back  door 
closed  as  a  voice  whispered,  "  So  long, 
Doc — to-morrow  night  on  the  lane  above 
the  engine  house.  That's  Flaherty's  beat 
at  night." 

"  I  guess  I'm  doing  wrong,"  mused  the 
doctor  to  himself,  "  but  I  swear  I  was  a  boy 
once.  It  makes  me  sad  to  think  how  old 
I  am.  I'd  give  anything  to  be  a  kid  again." 

He  watched  Mickey  join  Tucker  under 
an  apple-tree,  and  saw  the  two  disappear 
in  the  moonlight,  along  the  border  of  a 
corn-field,  a  bundle  between  them. 

Silently  the  two  boys  made  their  way 
to  an  old  barn  some  distance  from  the 
Binny  homestead  and  deposited  their 
burden  in  the  loft. 

"  We'll  get  to  work  to-morrow,  Mickey," 
remarked  Tucker.     "  We'll  have  to  hook 
the  stuff  to  fill  these  clothes  with." 
134 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


"  We'll  have  to  steal  a  couple  of  hay- 
stacks at  least,"  answered  Mickey,  as  he 
gazed  at  the  size  of  the  coat  as  it  lay 
spread  out  on  the  floor. 

"  I  think  we'll  have  to  start  in  now," 
mused  Tucker.  "  It'll  take  an  all-fired 
lot  of  work  to  make  this  Dr.  Nash  look 
lifelike.  I  guess  we  better  fill  the  trou- 
sers with  apples." 

They  tied  the  ends  of  the  legs  and 
filled  one  with  the  fruit  from  a  collec- 
tion down-stairs  in  the  barn.  Suddenly 
Mickey  yelled,  "  Pour  'em  out  again, 
pour  'em  out ;  see  I  can't  move  the  thing 
at  all  now,  an'  we  only  got  one  leg 
full." 

"  Hully  gee,  apples  are  'steen  times  too 
heavy.  There's  nothing  to  do  but  use 
hay  in  a  case  like  this.  Did  you  ever  see 
such  a  big  man  as  Dr.  Nash  in  your  life?  " 
laughed  Tuck. 

They  foraged  and  used  up  considerable 
135 


Tucker  Dan 

hay  that  night.  But  they  left  the  stuff- 
ing only  partly  done,  and  returned  to  it 
next  morning,  which  was  Saturday. 
Never  did  boys  work  harder,  and  by 
nightfall  they  had  a  pretty  good  like- 
ness of  Dr.  Nash,  head  and  all. 

They  had  bought  a  mask  at  the  knick- 
knack  store,  and  it  served  as  a  fair  like- 
ness of  the  physician  as  he  would  look 
when  killed.  Altogether  their  work  was 
artistic  as  circumstances  allowed. 

At  seven  that  evening  Tucker  and 
Mickey  advanced  stealthily  to  the  barn, 
heading  a  squad  of  boys  who  were  in  the 
secret.  They  carried  the  stuffed  Dr.  Nash 
down  the  stairs  and  out  of  the  barn  door 
in  silent  sorrow.  They  feared  every  min- 
ute for  his  life.  Once  or  twice  they 
turned  him  over  and  bent  him  up,  in 
order  to  get  him  down  the  stairs.  But 
they  got  him  out  into  the  woods  finally 
without  being  seen,  and  without  his  fall- 
136 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


ing  to  pieces  at  the  belt  line,  his  weakest 
spot. 

Then  they  laid  him  down  and  held  a 
consultation.  Mickey  was  sitting  on  the 
well-filled  stomach,  his  feet  barely  reach- 
ing the  ground,  and  Tucker  Dan  was 
astride  the  chest. 

"  Say,  boys,"  exclaimed  the  master- 
builder  Tucker,  "  did  you  ever  see  such  a 
colossus  ?  " 

"  Never,"  exclaimed  the  chorus ;  "  never 
like  this — we've  all  seen  the  original, 
though." 

They  all  laughed  in  glee. 

"  If  the  real  Dr.  Nash  could  see  this 
Dr.  Nash  there'd  be  a  funny  time,"  ex- 
claimed one  of  the  boys. 

"Sure,"  interjected  Mickey.  "He'd 
laugh  till  this  one  would  burst  open  from 
sympathy.  Doc's  a  nice  fellow." 

"  Well,  we  better  get  along,  boys." 

"  March,  march,  to  the  tree  by  the 
137 


Tucker  Dan 

brook  as  it  crosses  the  Fireman's  lane," 
ordered  Tucker  in  a  singsong. 

They  swung  the  hay  made  monster  off 
the  earth,  and  stepped  away  in  silence 
like  well  drilled  soldiers,  keeping  always 
in  the  shade  and  avoiding  the  moonlight. 

It  was  a  sight  worthy  of  a  better  sub- 
ject than  a  stuffed  physician.  The  boys 
finally  arrived  at  the  brook  under  the 
tree,  and  there  they  deposited  the  giant 
once  more  on  the  ground. 

Tucker  Dan  pulled  him  so  that  he  lay 
in  the  lane  in  the  shade  with  the  feet  out 
and  head  near  the  tree. 

Then  one  of  the  smallest  of  his  aides- 
de-camp  stole  back  to  the  barn  and  re- 
turned with  a  can  of  fresh  red  paint. 
This,  Tucker  and  Mickey  spilled  pro- 
fusely over  the  face  of  the  figure  and 
down  on  the  stuffed  chest. 

Then  all  the  boys  but  the  two  leaders 
hid  behind  a  stone  wall  near  by,  and 
138 


With  a  can  of  fresh 
red  paint  " — Page  138. 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


watched  Tucker  and  his  dear  friend 
Mickey  do  a  mysterious  thing. 

They  dragged  a  long  piece  of  hose 
from  the  woods  where  they  had  hidden 
it,  and  fastened  one  end  under  the  stuffed 
vest,  after  passing  it  through  the  coat 
sleeve.  The  part  of  the  tube  that  led 
away  from  the  body  they  covered  with 
leaves ;  and  then  Tucker  got  behind  a 
stone  and  took  the  other  end  and  said 
things  through  it  to  Mickey,  who  listened 
attentively  as  he  leaned  over  the  stuffed 
monster. 

"  Hully  rats/'  he  exclaimed  with  a 
whoop,  "  I  can  hear  all  you  say,  Tuck. 
It  sounds  as  though  Dr.  Nash  was  talk- 
ing through  his  chest,  or  something.  But 
he's  got  an  awful  voice  for  fair." 

"  Hooray,"  exclaimed  the  chorus  be- 
hind the  stone  fence.  "  Hooray  for 
Tucker  Dan  and  for  Mick." 

Then  all  was  quiet  awaiting  the  com- 
139 


Tucker  Dan 

ing  of  Mr.  Tim  Flaherty,  the  near-sighted 
policeman,  who  was  now  about  due  on 
this  part  of  his  beat. 

He  came  at  last.  They  could  see  him 
in  the  distance. 

He  was  tired  and  disgusted  and  solilo- 
quizing to  himself. 

"  That  there  hoss  I  plugged  for  that  fat 
doctor  yesterday  morning  is  going  to  kick 
der  bucket,  sure,  and  I  see  me  finish  on 
de  police  foorce,  unless  I  can  work  some- 
how so  as  to  see  the  doctor.  As  he  do 
be  a  gentleman  maybe  we  can  come  to 
turrums." 

He  trudged  along.  He  was  destined 
to  see  the  doctor  all  right,  but  he 
little  expected  the  manner  of  his  meet- 
ing. 

Suddenly  Tucker  Dan  fired  a  revolver 
a  couple  of  times  and  Mickey  let  out 
an  awful  roar.  It  sounded  like  a  panic- 
stricken  hyena. 

UO 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


All  the  boys  behind  the  fence  held 
their  breaths ;  it  was  getting  so  realistic 
that  they  had  all  they  could  do  to  keep 
from  jumping  into  next  fourth  of  July. 

Tucker  and  Mickey  hid  carefully  and 
Mr.  Tim  Flaherty  waltzed  backwards  a 
dozen  steps  before  he  could  collect  his 
courage. 

"  It's  mur-rder ! "  he  exclaimed  as  he 
drew  his  night  stick  and  his  revolver. 

"  It's  done ;  it's  too  late,"  he  muttered 
as  he  dashed  forward  as  became  a  brave 
officer  of  the  law. 

He  hurdled  over  a  couple  of  boulders 
and  sprinted  ahead  for  the  tree. 

"  Surrender,  ye  villion,"  he  yelled  as 
he  fired  a  couple  of  shots  that  barked  the 
tree  about  fifty  feet  in  the  air.  "  Sur- 
r-ender  or  be  gobs  I'll  have  yer." 

Then  he  fired  another  shot  and  bored 
a  hole  in  the  air  forty  feet  to  the  left  of 
the  tree. 

141 


Tucker  Dan 

Next  minute  he  stumbled  over  the 
ready  made  Dr.  Nash. 

"I'll  arrest  ye ;  be  all  the  divils — I'll 
arrest  ye." 

He  grabbed  the  body  by  the  head  and 
the  red  paint  daubed  his  arm. 

"  Blud,"  he  murmured  as  he  realized 
that  he  had  arrested  the  murdered  man. 
Then  he  knelt  down  and  peered  near- 
sightedly at  the  body.  There  could  be 
no  mistake,  there  was  only  one  man  so 
large  in  the  county. 

"  It's  Dr.  Nash,"  he  cried.  "  Dead- 
dead — help,  help — hel-lup." 

The  face  was  cold.  The  murderer  had 
done  his  work  only  too  well.  Tim 
Flaherty  groaned,  and  then  Tucker  Dan 
spoke  softly  through  the  tube,  and  the 
words  came  from  the  murdered  man. 

"  You're  next,  Tim." 

Flaherty  straightened  up  and  shook 
himself;  it  wasn't  possible  that  such  a 
142 


Flaherty  Gets  a  Lesson 


cold  murdered  man  could  speak.  He  was 
certainly  dreaming  or  nervous  to  the  bor- 
derland of  hysteria. 

"  He  must  be  dead,  sure,"  he  cried,  and 
then  Tucker  Dan  spoke  again. 

"  He's  after  you,  Tim  Flaherty  ;  run." 

The  voice  was  ghostly,  the  surround- 
ings oppressive,  the  atmosphere  hot,  and 
Tim  Flaherty  jumped  seven  feet  at  the 
first  leap  and  started  for  the  engine-house 
down  the  hill,  like  a  troubled  policeman. 
He  was  so  troubled  that  he  fell  and  rolled 
into  the  back  door  of  the  engine-house. 

"  Mu-rr-der,"  he  cried.  "  Dr.  Nash  is 
killed  on  the  road  and  he  can  still 
ta-l-l-k,  begorrah." 

He  headed  the  crowd  back  up  the  hill 
and  led  them  to  the  body.  They  looked 
with  the  aid  of  lanterns  and  the  boys  be- 
hind the  fence  one  and  all,  burst  out  in 
chorus, 

"  Guess  again,  Flaherty." 
143 


Tucker  Dan 

The  firemen  took  the  policeman  back 
to  the  engine-house  and  closed  the  doors 
carefully.  Then  they  talked  with  Flah- 
erty and  argued  with  him  and  sent  for 
the  real  Dr.  Nash  to  fix  him  up. 

He  was  a  wreck,  a  total  wreck  for  a 
week. 

Dr.  Nash  got  home  early  that  morning 
escorted  by  half  the  town.  As  he  went 
to  bed  he  muttered, 

"  Tucker  Dan  Pils,  you're  the  greatest 
press  agent  any  man  ever  had.  What  an 
advertisement  you  have  given  me,  and  it 
was  all  done  according  to  professional 
ethics." 


144 


CHAPTER  ELEVEN 


A  BRACE  OF  LOVERS 

HE  town  of  Sorrento  was  one 
of  those  beautiful  spots  that 
one  finds  occasionally  along 
the  New  England  coast.  Its 
streets  were  wide,  its  houses 
large  and  spacious  and  not 
too  old-fashioned  for  modern 
comfort ;  for  Sorrento  was  a  comparatively 
newly  settled  place,  and  Puritanism  had 
never  effected  its  growth  or  had  much  to 
do  with  moulding  its  thoughts. 

Its  chief  industry  was  shoes  ;  everybody 

who  was  some  one  owned  a  shoe  store,  or 

a  factory  dedicated  to  the  making  of  soles. 

It  was  well   supplied   with   churches, 

and  the  ministers  were  all  fat,  a  mighty 

good  sign ;  meaning  of  course  that  it  was 

145 


Tucker  Dan 

comparatively  easy  to  marry  rich  girls  in 
Sorrento,  for  whoever  heard  pf  a  minister 
getting  fat  on  his  own  income  in  a  New 
England  town.  Along  with  its  other  ad- 
vantages the  place  had  a  good  reputation 
for  ventilation. 

The  Atlantic  breezes  swept  in  about 
twice  a  month  from  the  east  and  lifted 
a  roof  or  two,  and  in  winter  the  trol- 
leys quit  running  because  the  electricity 
couldn't  get  conducted  properly.  Alto- 
gether the  town  was  an  agreeable  one, 
and  Mr.  George  Binny  had  never  re- 
gretted entering  the  shoe  business  of 
Walker  &  Co.,  the  biggest  concern  in 
Sorrento. 

Uncle  Binny  had  never  reached  the 
top ;  but  he  made  a  good  confidential  man 
and  drew  a  fair  salary,  and  Walker  &  Co. 
thought  he  was  all  right,  if  a  trifle  un- 
certain. After  that  day  on  which  Mr. 
Binny  rode  the  log  across  the  harbor  and 
146 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


later  sailed  over  the  back  fence  with 
Martin's  coachman  after  him  they  enter- 
tained some  private  fear  that  he  might 
one  day  stand  on  the  court-house  steps, 
dressed  in  a  polka  dot  shawl,  and  start 
in  dancing  a  Hoola  dance. 

By  good  behavior  and  strict  attention 
to  business,  however,  Uncle  Binny  was 
dissipating  these  fears. 

But  Mr.  Budd,  the  junior  member  of 
the  firm,  had  a  son  named  Henry. 
While  Mr.  Binny  got  along  first-rate  with 
the  members  of  the  firm,  Tucker  Dan 
and  his  friend  Mickey  didn't  fancy 
Henry,  who  was  known  as  Hen  at  school. 
He  belonged  to  the  same  class  as  Tucker 
and  he  had  jumped  to  the  position  of 
leader  of  that  class  when  he  first  went 
there,  and  had  stayed  in  that  position, 
held  for  such  a  short  time  by  Tucker  be- 
fore him.  Henry  Budd  was  bright  and 
a  fine  looking  fellow  ;  a  first-class  athlete 
147 


Tucker  Dan 

as  well  as  scholar.  He  could  run  a  tie 
with  Tuck  and  Mickey,  and  was  in  every 
way  a  decidedly  popular  fellow,  save  for 
his  citified  airs  which  displeased  the 
boys,  but  caused  many  a  heart  pang  to 
the  girls. 

It  soon  became  evident  to  many  that 
things  were  not  going  well  with  Tucker 
Dan  that  spring.  He  began  to  fail  in 
health  and  spirits,  and  for  some  unac- 
countable reason  Mickey  had  the  same 
symptoms.  They  acted  in  a  listless  man- 
ner and  had  no  appetite,  and  their  flesh 
simply  melted  off  them. 

Dr.  Nash,  who  saw  the  boys  quite  fre- 
quently about  town,  began  to  take  a  pro- 
fessional interest  in  observing  them  from 
the  corners  of  his  trained  eyes. 

To  his  mind  Pils  and  Mickey  Connor 

were  in  trouble.      It  looked  like  silent 

grief.      Then  Dr.  Nash  began  to  notice 

that  Tucker  did  not  go  home  with  Salvina 

148 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


any  more,  and  that  he  never  saw  Mickey 
dancing  attendance  on  Miss  Augusta. 

Then  Mr.  Connor,  senior,  and  Uncle 
Binny  began  to  worry  about  the  boys, 
and  talked  it  over  amongst  themselves. 
They  decided  to  send  them  to  see  Dr. 
Nash.  Something  surely  was  wrong. 
Tucker  had  only  eaten  five  sausages  for 
breakfast  one  morning  that  week ;  and 
Mickey  was  so  off  his  feed  that  he 
wouldn't  eat  buckwheat  cakes  any  more, 
even  if  his  mother  made  them  half  but- 
ter, half  cakes,  and  threw  in  enough  syrup 
to  float  them. 

The  boys  started  to  the  doctor's  to- 
gether one  Saturday  morning  early. 
They  got  tired  and  sat  on  a  log  in  the 
woods  and  looked  at  each  other.  Both 
were  sheepish. 

"  Say,  Tuck,  what  ails  you  anyway?  " 
exclaimed  Mickey  with  a  bold  command- 
ing note  in  his  voice. 
149 


Tucker  Dan 

11  Nothing  at  all  much  ;  ain't  got  an  ap- 
petite." 

"  Why  ain't  you  got  an  appetite  ?  You 
got  to  tell  me  the  truth,  Tuck." 

Tucker  Dan  looked  at  Mickey  and 
saw  that  it  was  no  use  to  refuse,  so  he 
delved  deeply  into  his  shirt  bosom  and 
pulled  out  a  crumpled  piece  of  paper. 

"  Read  that,"  he  exclaimed  woefully. 
"  I  got  it  six  weeks  ago ;  read  it,  Mick." 

Connor  took  it  and  unfolded  it  before 
him  on  the  log  and  read  : 

"  MR.  TUCKER  DAN  PILS, 
"  DEAR  SIR  : 

"  I  cannot  call  you  Tuck  any 
more,  because  I  must  be  true  to  myself 
and  tell  you  that  I  don't  love  you  any- 
where near  so  much  as  I  did.  I  like  you, 
Pils,  but  I  don't  want  to  walk  home  any 
more  with  you.  We  must  part  forever. 
It  is  awful,  but  it  must  be. 

"  Your  friend  always 

"  SALVINA." 

150 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


Mickey  looked  at  Tucker  Dan  calmly  and 
returned  the  note.  Then  Tucker  sighed 
and  hung  his  head,  and  reached  out  his 
arm  and  clasped  it  about  Mickey's  neck 
and  drew  his  lifelong  friend  towards  him. 

"  It's  awful,  Mick,"  he  sobbed  ;  "  and— 
an' — she  calls  me  '  Pils  '  now." 

Mickey  didn't  say  a  word,  but  pulled  a 
letter  out  of  his  own  bosom  and  handed 
it  to  Tucker,  who  took  it  eagerly  and  read 
it.  It  went  like  this  — 

"  ME.  MICHAEL  CONNOE  : 

"  I  find  that  my  affection  has 
cooled  forever,  Mick.  I  shall  always 
call  you  Mick  'cause  I  really  like  you 
awfully,  but  I  cannot  love  you  as  I  did. 
The  dear  sweet  days  are  now  gone,  Mick. 
Keep  up  your  courage  and  be  a  man  and 
try  and  forget  me,  and  get  another  girl 
and  be  happy  as  you  deserve ;  but  don't 
make  it  hard  for  me,  dear  Mick. 
"  Your  friend  forever, 

"  but  not  your  sweetheart, 

"AUGUSTA." 
151 


Tucker  Dan 

Tucker  Dan  stood  up.  "Listen, 
Mickey,"  he  cried,  "listen.  Mine  says,' 
'  It's  awful  but  it  must  be,'  and  yours 
says,  *  Don't  make  it  hard  for  me,  dear 
Mick.'  What  do  you  think  of  that? 
Ain't  that  trouble  ?  " 

"  The  blows  are  so  hard  I  don't  want 
to  live,  Tuck,"  mumbled  Mickey.  "  You 
and  I  have  been  turned  down." 

"  Turned  down  !  We've  been  turned 
inside  out ;  but  there's  nothing  to  do ; 
we're  poor  and  they're  rich,  and — and — 
Mickey  Connor,  we've  just  got  to  be 
men." 

"  Yep — but  I  ain't  got  no  appetite." 

"Do  you  expect  to  wanter  eat  after 
such  a  thing  as  that?  Y-a-h ! "  ex- 
claimed Tucker.  "Brace  up  and  be  a 
man." 

"  Can't  brace  up,"  said  Mickey  sorrow- 
fully. "  I  ain't  had  a  square  meal  in  a 
month." 

152 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


11  I  ain't  drunk  anything  but  milk  for 
a  week,"  retorted  Tuck  ;  "  but  say,  brace 
up  and  let's  see  Dr.  Nash.  He'll  give  us 
something  to  brace  on,  and  if  you  don't 
tell  him  he  won't  know  we've  been  turned 
down." 

Mickey  shook  himself  and  together 
they  went  to  see  the  man  who  wouldn't 
know. 

Fortunately  there  were  no  patients 
waiting  and  the  boys  were  admitted 
one  by  one.  Mickey  first,  because  he 
was  the  older. 

Mick  thought  he  would  die  of  suffo- 
cation when  he  saw  Dr.  Nash  in  his 
chair.  The  doctor  looked  as  though  he 
had  been  eating  some  of  the  hay  that 
was  used  to  stuff  his  double  on  the 
night  of  Flaherty's  lesson.  Mickey 
gasped  in  amazement.  It  was  evident 
Dr.  Nash  had  gained  in  weight.  The 
physician  understood. 
153 


Tucker  Dan 

"  Come  in,  Connor,"  he  said.  "  I've 
been  gaining  the  flesh  that  you  and 
Pils  have  been  dropping  lately ;  only 
thirty-five  pounds — I  am  three  hundred 
and  fifty-seven  now." 

The  doctor  stood  up,  and  as  was  his 
wont  with  the  boys,  remarked  jovially, 
"  How  do  I  look,  now  ?  " 

"  Like  a  dressed  up  gentleman,"  mut- 
tered Mickey  in  alarm.  "  You  look  too 
big  to  be  comfortable  though." 

"  Well,  you  see,  Mickey,  I  am  too  old 
to  fall  in  love.  That's  what  takes  the 
flesh  off  people." 

Mickey  sat  down  on  the  edge  of  a  chair 
and  swelled  himself  out  as  far  as  pos- 
sible. 

"  I'm  losing  weight,  Doc,"  he  volun- 
teered. 

"  Yes,  I  know ;  you  have  been  in  love 
and  have  been  turned  down  ;  your  face 
shows  it." 

154 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


Mickey  gasped  in  amazement  as  the 
physician  continued, 

"  You  go.  Forget  it,  and  if  you  don't 
get  over  it,  I'll  tell  the  fellows.  You 
don't  need  any  medicine." 

Mickey  stood  up  and  groaned  like  a 
sick  ape. 

"  Say  you're  right ;  but  let  me  stay  in 
here  while  you  talk  to  my  friend  Tucker 
Dan  Pile."  " 

"  All  right,"  exclaimed  the  doctor ; 
"  Pils,  next." 

Tucker  came  slouching  in  and  looked 
suspiciously  at  Mickey  who  remained 
standing. 

The  doctor  stripped  Tucker  to  the 
skin  and  drew  marks  on  his  chest 
and  thumped  him,  while  Mickey  had 
great  difficulty  in  suppressing  his 
laughter. 

Then    he    listened   to  the   heart  and 
gazed  learnedly  at  Pils. 
155 


Tucker  Dan 

"Sorry,  but  you've  got  heart  disease. 
You're  struck  with  an  arrow  from  the 
god  Cupid's  bow." 

Tuck  smiled  like  a  sick  boy.  "  Is  that 
all,  Doc?"  he  murmured  bravely. 

"  No,  you've  got  a  complication.  We 
call  it  calfitis." 

"  What's  that?  "  remarked  the  boys  in 
chorus. 

"  That's  the  high  English  for  the  first 
attack  of  love." 

Mickey  sat  down  on  the  floor  and 
gazed  up  at  Tucker's  naked  chest  and 
then  stuffed  his  head  in  his  hands  and 
howled  with  joy. 

"  Calfitis,  Tucker  Dan — there's  no  hope 
for  us,"  he  shouted.  "  Doc  is  on  I  Doc's 
on!" 

"  Take  one  good  revenge  and  get  fat 
again,  boys,"  remarked  the  doctor. 

"  Revenge !  "  chorused  the  two  with 
eagerness. 

156 


A  Brace  of  Lovers 


"  Yes,  revenge.  When  two  boys  get 
turned  down  by  two  girls  they'd  better 
get  together  and  hunt  for  the  man  in 
the  case,"  remarked  Dr.  Nash.  "  When 
I  was  young  we  usually  did  that." 

"  The  other  man,  hully  gee ! "  ex- 
claimed Mickey.  "  I  am  on,  Tucker 
Dan,  I  am  on." 

"So  ami." 

"  We  will  hunt  the  other  man,"  and 
together  they  walked  out. 

When  they  got  outside  Tucker  re- 
marked, "  That  Dr.  Nash  is  a  peach." 

"  Yep,  he's  got  second  sight,"  asserted 
Mickey.  "  He's  too  darned  smart  for 
comfort." 

"  He's  a  clairvoyant." 

Then  they  shouted  back  together,  "  So 
long,  Doc !  We  are  going  to  hunt  the 
other  man.  He  must  be  Hen,  dear  Hen 
Budd." 


157 


CHAPTER  TWELVE 

HENRY'S  BUSY  DAY 

[UCKER  DAN  led  the  way 
back  to  the  log,  which 
both  boys  bestrode,  fan- 
ning one  another.  Said 
Mickey  from  his  seat  on 
the  thick  end, 

"  Tuck,  we  don't  know  as 
much  as  doctors." 

"  Not  as  much  as  Dr.  Nash,"  assented 
Tuck  ;  "  but  Nunc  Binny  says  some  doc- 
tors don't  know  enough  to  chase  hens." 

11  Anyway,  Pils,  you  an'  I've  been  a 
couple  of  boiled  lobsters." 

Tucker  looked  gloweringly  at  his  dear 
friend  Mick. 

"  Skinny,"  he  said,  "  I'd  as  soon  fight 
you  again  as  not.  You  told  Doc  that  I 

had  the— the " 

158 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


"Calfitis!  haw!  haw!  ho!  No,  I 
didn't,  honest!  Honest — I  never  heard 
of  the  disease." 

"  Well  you  told  him  I  had  the  moon- 
strokes." 

"  I  didn't.  He  told  me  I  had  the  loves, 
and  course  he  knew  you  had  'em,  too. 
We've  both  had  the  moonstrokes,  Tuck ; 
we've  been  a  couple  of  tra-la-loos." 

Tucker  Dan  got  up.  "  Mick,"  he  said 
trying  hard  to  swallow  his  mortification, 
"  I  think  we  better  interview  Hen  Budd 
some  day.  He  has  done  us  up." 

"  I  think  Hen  Budd,  dear  Hen,  you're 
in  need  of  friends,"  murmured  Mickey, 
as  he  got  up  and  took  hold  of  Tuck's 
arm.  "Ter  think,  Tuck,  that  anybody 
could  size  us  up  for  a  couple  of  rejected 


swains." 


Tucker  Dan  hung  his  head  in  deep 
thought. 

"What's  der  matter?"  queried  Mick 
159 


Tucker  Dan 

in  sympathy.  "  Don't  let  a  girl  sear 
your  soul  that  way ;  I'm  over  my 
blow." 

"  I'm  only  thinking,"  murmured 
Tucker,  "  about  what  to  do  to  Henry." 

Mickey  stood  off  and  threw  his  head 
forward  while  his  neck  was  nearly  dislo- 
cated, and  looked  keenly  and  melodra- 
matically at  his  friend. 

"  You  invent  the  scheme, — but  I'll  start 
the  ball  rolling  for  you.  My  specialty  is 
doing  stunts.  I  ain't  any  good  at  in- 
venting." 

Tucker  mused  a  while.  "  Next  Satur- 
day are  the  athletic  games  at  school, 
Skinny  Mick  ;  next  Saturday  Hen  Budd 
will  beat  us  all  in  the  hundred  yard 
dash." 

"  Yep,  I  give  in  already,  Tuck.  He 
can  beat  me  two  feet  any  way." 

"  He  can  beat  me  about  a  foot  an'  a 
half,"  said  Tucker;  "  and  he  thinks  he'll 
160 


Henry's  Busy  Day 

keep  Salvina  and  Augusta  on  his  string, 
does  he?" 

"  He  do,"  assented  Mick,  ungrammatic- 
ally, as  usual,  when  excited ;  "  he  thinks 
he  can  do  Tucker  Dan  Pils  and  Mickey 
Connor." 

"  I  think,  Mick,  that  we'll  lose  the  race 
maybe ;  but  I  think  you  an'  I'll  go  home 
with  Salvina  and  Augusta  and  the  rest 
of  the  bunch." 

"  Hooray  for  you,  Tuck ;  you've  got  a 
scheme.  I  knew  you'd  never  fail." 

"  I  have  got  an  idea,  I  have.  Lead  me, 
Mick — lead  me  to  a  brook  in  the  woods 
where  there's  mud,  and  where  you  an'  I 
can  think." 

Mick  began  to  tremble  with  excitement. 

"  Come  on,"  he  cried  as  he  led  the  way  ; 
then  as  he  looked  sideways  at  his  friend 
he  said  to  himself,  "  Tucker  looks  awful 
queer  in  the  eye — he's  got  a  prize  winner 
in  his  attic  this  time  sure." 
161 


Tucker  Dan 

Later,  the  two  boys  might  have  been 
seen  deep  in  the  woods,  eagerly  scanning 
the  neighborhood  of  marsh  ponds,  and 
following  the  course  of  the  many  streams. 

They  held  no  conversation.  Each  was 
company  unto  himself,  but  each  was  wide 
awake.  Suddenly  Mickey  struck  a  mo- 
tionless attitude ;  then  began  to  tiptoe 
towards  a  spot  in  a  hollow  between  two 
stones,  which  was  half  filled  with  muddy 
water.  There  was  a  quiet  splash  and  a 
dark  object  disappeared  under  the  sur- 
face. Mickey  started  after  and  in  his 
hurry  lost  his  footing  and  sat  down  all 
over  the  landscape. 

Tucker  pulled  him  out,  and  dejectedly 
the  two  proceeded  on  their  mysterious 
way. 

Suddenly  Tucker,  stick  in  hand,  exe- 
cuted a  turn  and  capsized  an  object  that 
was  making  its  escape. 

"That'll  do,"  exclaimed  Mickey,  as 
162 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


both  studied  the  object  and  put  it  into 
a  meal  sack.  "He'll  do." 

"  Yep,"  assented  the  captor  ;  "  trouble 
'bout  these  snapping  turtles  most  of  'em 
are  too  big.  This  one  ain't  such  a  weight 
to  carry." 

"  Haw !  haw  !  "  bellowed  Mickey  ;  "  Hen 
won't  scarcely  notice  this  handicap ; " 
and  the  two  hunters  chuckled  in  glee  at 
the  prospect  of  revenge. 

The  day  of  the  school  athletic  games 
was  a  brilliant  one  in  every  way.  The 
sky  was  cloudless,  the  atmosphere  was 
clear  and  the  birds  were  singing. 

A  mile  outside  of  the  town  was  the 
athletic  field,  with  its  greensward,  greener 
than  usual,  and  its  half-mile  track  en- 
circling it  like  a  band  of  silver.  The 
grand  stand  was  filled  at  two  o'clock. 
Sorrento  was  there  in  full  representation. 
Business  men  had  made  a  half-holiday  of 
it  and  the  ladies  were  there  to  make  the 
163 


Tucker  Dan 

half  better.  Boys  were  there  from  the 
schools  all  about,  and  the  girls,  bless 
them,  were  there  because  the  boys  were. 
They  didn't  know  much  about  athletics 
but  they  knew  enough  to  know  that  it 
was  first  and  last  their  day. 

Salvina  and  Augusta  were  seated  in  a 
box  with  the  Budds,  on  Hen's  invitation. 

Uncle  Binny  and  Mr.  Connor  were  in 
company  with  Dr.  Nash,  who  had  to  pay 
for  two  seats  in  the  grand  stand  for  him- 
self. He  sat  on  the  lower  tier  near  the 
track,  so  in  case  the  boards  gave  way  he 
might  recuperate  without  precipitating  a 
panic. 

About  a  quarter  of  a  mile  beyond,  the 
half-mile  track  skirted  a  rocky  elevation, 
on  the  other  side  of  which  was  a  railroad 
track  going  through  a  cut. 

A  gang  of  Italian  laborers,  about 
twenty  in  number,  were  lounging  on  the 
rocks  enjoying  the  sight  and  taking  a 
164 


"  Salvina  and  Augusta 
were  there." — Page  164. 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


rest  from  their  work.  They  all  had 
picks  or  spades  and  were  jabbering  more 
than  usual.  It  seemed  that  their  cook  in 
the  shanty  near  by  had  lost  his  small 
frying-pan,  and  their  midday  meal  had 
not  been  as  satisfactory  as  usual. 

Every  one  wanted  to  know  where  the 
frying-pan  was,  but  no  one  cared  to  look 
for  it,  as  the  athletic  games  were  the  cen- 
tre of  attraction.  But  nevertheless  all 
realized  that  if  that  pan  was  not  found 
there  wouldn't  be  any  more  hot  stuff  to 
eat  for  awhile. 

The  games  started,  and  all  was  excite- 
ment when  the  event  of  the  day  was 
reached.  It  was  the  hundred  yard  dash. 
Every  one  in  town  looked  for  a  record, 
for  Hen  Budd  had  a  reputation  for  fleet- 
ness  of  foot  that  made  him  the  centre  of 
all  eyes.  Tucker  Dan  Pils  had  equaled 
his  time,  it  was  acknowledged,  and  some 
even  said  that  Mickey  Connor  might  win 
165 


Tucker  Dan 

in  a  pinch ;  but  many  thought  the  two 
boys  were  too  thin — overtrained  they 
said — for  this  special  occasion. 

Dr.  Nash  knew  that  it  was  not  over- 
training, and  somehow  he  had  a  deep 
premonition  of  trouble.  Even  Uncle 
Binny  and  Mr.  Connor  who  sat  with  the 
doctor  were  uneasy  about  the  race.  The 
three  had  noticed  that  Tucker  and 
Mickey  were  sublimely  indifferent  to  one 
another,  and  they  could  not  quite  attrib- 
ute it  to  jealousy. 

"  Binny,"  whispered  the  doctor, 
"  there's  going  to  be  something  doing 
pretty  soon." 

"  Guess  yes — look  at  Hen  Budd." 

Down  the  track  one  hundred  yards 
the  runners  were  lining  up  for  the 
dash  which  was  to  terminate  in  front 
of  the  grand  stand.  Budd  was  limber- 
ing up  in  his  racing  trousers  and  his 
white  sleeveless  shirt.  His  splendidly 
166 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


proportioned     figure    created    a    sensa- 
tion. 

Mickey  Connor  threw  aside  his  blanket 
and  made  a  second  sensation.  He  was  so 
thin  he  looked  like  a  wish-bone  out  for 
an  airing. 

Then  others  limbered,  and  lined  up  to 
the  scratch.  Last  of  all  Tucker  Dan  Pils 
threw  off  his  blanket ;  and  he  nearly 
created  a  veritable  panic. 

He  was  certainly  out  to  win  the  race. 
His  trousers  were  just  as  short  as  those  of 
the  others,  but  they  were  made  of  black 
silk,  and  his  thin  chest  was  clad  in  a 
fawn  colored  undershirt.  The  other  boys 
smiled,  then  laughed,  and  Dr.  Nash  re- 
marked to  his  friends, 

"  Watch  Tucker  and  Mick.  They're  up 
to  snuff.  The  others  are  laughing ;  and 
laughing  before  a  race  is  the  worst  possible 
thing  to  do.  Binny,  that  Tuck  of  yours 
knows  that ;  he's  out  for  the  honors." 
167 


Tucker  Dan 

"And  my  Mickey  is  helping  him," 
chuckled  Connor ;  "  what's  he  carrying 
his  cap  in  his  hand  for  ?  I  bet  there's 
something  in  that  cap,  all  right." 

There  was  no  time  to  discover,  for  the 
pistol  cracked  and  away  the  contestants 
flew.  It  was  a  beautiful  start.  Mickey 
was  near  the  fence  on  the  inside  and  next 
to  him  was  the  expected  champion  of  the 
school  associations,  Hen  Budd.  Next 
came  the  other  boys,  and  outside  of  all 
Tucker  Dan,  the  boy  in  the  black  and  fawn. 

In  less  than  two  seconds  every  one  saw 
that  Budd  had  pulled  away  from  the 
others  near  him,  and  that  Mickey  on  the 
inside  right  next  to  him  was  running  as 
he  never  ran  before,  but  was  losing  inch 
by  inch,  and  many  shouted  to  him  to 
drop  his  cap,  but  he  didn't. 

A  few  feet  to  the  outside  came  Tucker, 
running  in  beautiful  style,  and  to  all  ap- 
pearances holding  his  own  with  Budd. 
168 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


They  came  flying  down  the  stretch  to- 
gether. Neither  Tuck  nor  Budd  knew 
anything  that  was  going  on  now,  save 
that  their  hearts  were  thumping  in  their 
chests,  their  feet  striking  automatic- 
ally on  the  ground  like  frozen  members, 
and  their  faces  flushing.  Then  came  the 
next  two  seconds  that  seemed  eternity  to 
them.  Their  heads  no  longer  appeared 
to  them  to  be  on  their  shoulders,  their 
eyes  could  no  longer  fix  the  tape  ahead. 
The  air  seemed  to  waver  with  a  rhythmic 
undulant  motion,  the  silence  was  the 
silence  of  eternity  ;  and  still  the  silence 
was  theirs  only.  The  noise  was  really 
deafening  as  the  spectators  urged  them 
on. 

One  second  more  and  Tucker  Dan's 
head  wobbled  ;  unknown  to  him  Budd 
forged  three  inches  to  the  front. 

This  was  Mickey's  opportunity.  He 
had  fallen  behind  from  the  other  two 
169 


Tucker  Dan 

some  eighteen  inches,  and  when  Budd 
forged  to  the  front  Mickey  threw  forward 
his  hand — the  hand  that  held  the  cap — 
and  grazed  Budd's  leg  with  it.  It  looked 
like  a  desperate  attempt  to  keep  his  bal- 
ance, and  no  one  knew  what  had  hap- 
pened save  that  Mickey  staggered,  fell 
back,  and  landed  on  all  fours,  a  beaten 
boy — his  cap  still  in  his  hand. 

But  by  his  well  timed  movement  he 
had  given  the  snapping  turtle  inside  it  a 
chance.  The  goal  was  only  a  few  yards 
away,  and  Henry  Budd  was  still  in  the 
lead,  but  the  turtle  was  with  him,  at- 
tached to  the  side  farthest  from  the 
crowd. 

At  first  it  pecked  gently,  and  Budd 
made  a  wonderful  leap,  but  Tucker  Dan 
stuck  to  him  like  grim  death.  Then  the 
turtle  tried  again,  this  time  with  better 
success  ;  and  Hen  Budd  war-whooped  like 
an  Indian  while  Tuck  forged  to  the  front 
170 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


amid  wild  applause,  the  winner  of  the 
greatest  race  ever  run  thereabouts. 

Budd  sat  down  on  the  track,  and 
chased  himself  in  a  circle  as  a  dog  chases 
its  tail,  while  the  crowd,  which  didn't 
know  anything  about  the  turtle,  began  to 
think  real  hard. 

"  I've  got  a  terrible  pain,"  he  yelled,  as 
he  jumped  up  and  over  the  track  rail, 
landing  on  the  back  of  his  head  on  the 
grass. 

He  couldn't  see  anything  but  he  felt  a 
heavy  drag  behind  him. 

"  I'm  done  for,  I've  busted  something," 
he  yelled  again  as  he  took  the  first  three 
tiers  of  the  grand  stand  in  a  graceful 
bound. 

No  one  could  stop  him.  He  rushed  in 
and  out  in  panic  and  nobody  knew  what 
it  was  all  about. 

But  the  turtle  had  secured  a  poor  hold 
of  Hen's  trousers  near  the  knee ;  it  now 
171 


Tucker  Dan 

snapped  again.  This  time  it  got  Hen  for 
fair.  With  a  succession  of  sounds  that 
seemed  to  be  some  new  kind  of  opera  in 
rehearsal  Budd  galloped  down  the  track 
and  scaled  the  rocky  heights  where  were 
the  Italians,  and  dashing  into  the  railroad 
track  made  for  Chicago. 

The  Italians  saw  the  long  necked  turtle 
and  decided  that  Henry  Budd  had  some- 
how gotten  hold  of  the  missing  frying- 
pan,  and  was  speeding  with  it. 

They  tumbled  onto  the  track,  spades 
and  picks  in  hand  and  started  after  him, 
yelling  like  fiends.  Hen  looked  back 
and  decided  to  keep  right  on. 

Mickey  sought  out  his  friend,  Tucker 
Dan. 

11 1  hated  to  do  it,  Tuck,  but  I  obeyed 
your  orders,"  he  exclaimed. 

"  I  thought  the  stunt  would  work  out 
all  right,"  chuckled  the  other  as  they 
watched  the  crowd  headed  by  the  police- 
172 


Henry's  Busy  Day 


man,  Tim  Flaherty,  join  in  a  pell- 
mell  pursuit  of  poor  Henry.  "  And  I 
think  we  better  go  home  with  the  twins 


now." 


173 


[HE  Budd  family  was  much 
downcast  over  their  only 
son's  foolish  caper.  Even 
they  thought  he  knew 
enough  not  to  monkey  with 
a  snapping  turtle ;  but  they 
saw  plainly  that  they  were 
mistaken. 

It  was  evident  that  while  he  was  a 
splendid  scholar  and  an  excellent  runner 
he  didn't  know  enough  to  keep  scandal 
from  the  family  doors,  and  he  needed 
watching. 

Anyway,  whether  he  needed  it  or  not, 

Dr.  Nash  took  care  of  him  for  several 

days.     The    physician   treated   the   case 

surgically  and  told  Hen  that  he  was  glad 

174 


Four  Hearts 

he  had  been  such  a  fleet  runner.  If  he 
had  not  rattled  the  turtle  by  his  speed 
there  would  have  been  no  telling  what 
might  have  happened. 

The  injured  boy  recovered  to  find 
himself  the  most  amusing  thing  in  town. 
Every  one  called  him  "Turt,"  and  his 
life  was  made  miserable.  The  girls  sim- 
ply passed  him  with  glassy  stares  that 
froze  his  marrow,  and  the  boys  said 
things  at  a  distance.  He  did  not  return 
to  school  next  fall,  for  his  father  thought 
he  had  better  take  a  rest  and  work  in 
the  factory  for  the  benefit  of  the  family 
name. 

Salvina  and  Augusta  paid  lots  of  atten- 
tion to  Tucker  and  Mickey,  but  the  boys 
were  decidedly  frigid  and  distant  to  the 
twins  at  first. 

Since  Tucker  had  won  the  race  he  was 
king-pin  of  the  town,  for  no  one  knew 
how  the  turtle  had  got  fastened  to  Hen 
1Y5 


Tucker  Dan 

Budd,  and  Mickey,  staunch  friend  that  he 
was,  never  revealed  his  part  in  the  affair. 
He  limped  around  for  a  day  or  so  and 
complained  of  his  foot,  and  explained  his 
miserable  fall  in  the  race  by  saying, 
"  Me  left  fut  got  outer  time  with  me  right 
fut,  and  me  cap  got  outer  time  with  me 
two  futs,  and  all  I  could  do  was  to  finish 
the  race  on  me  belly." 

Wherever  Tucker  Dan  went  Mickey 
hopped  along  too ;  and  wherever  they 
two  meandered,  Salvina  and  Augusta  ap- 
peared somewhere  in  a  not  distant  per- 
spective. Hen  Budd  was  forgotten,  and 
Tucker  and  his  right  bower  were  it. 

Finally  one  day  as  early  fall  was  ap- 
proaching, after  the  boys  had  strained  the 
girls'  affection  as  far  as  girls  could  stand 
it,  Tucker  received  a  forget-me-not  inside 
of  a  walnut,  and  Mickey  found  a  rose  in- 
side of  a  paper  shoe  box  on  the  back  door- 
step. 

176 


Four  Hearts 

Then  the  two  boys  met  and  reported  to 
one  another. 

"  We've  got  'em  going,  all  right,  all 
right,  Mick,"  mused  Tucker  Dan. 

"  Yep,  it's  our  prestige,"  remarked 
Mickey  with  a  long  French  accent. 
"  We  got  prestige  !  " 

"Naw,"  grunted  Tucker,  "it's  our 
shapes." 

"Nit,"  retorted  Mickey;  "if we  trav- 
eled on  our  shapes  we'd  be  in  the  scrap 
iron  heap.  You  oughter  seen  yerself 
when  yer  lined  up  for  the  race.  I 
thought  ye  were  a  plucked  chicken, 
sure." 

"  Maybe,  but  you  looked  like  a  piece 
of  canned  asparagus.  And  your  pants — 
oh — haw  !  haw  !  haw  !  " 

"  Don't  make  any  difference,"  mused 
Mickey  abashedly ;  "  we've  made  a  hit 
with  the  twins,  and  we're  a  couple  of 
idiots  if  we  don't  make  up." 
177 


Tucker  Dan 

Tucker  nodded.  "  Let's  settle  things, 
Mick.  We're  slow." 

"  All  right." 

And  then  the  rest  was  easy.  All  the 
rest  of  that  summer  the  two  boys  and 
the  twins  had  a  delightful  friendship, 
which  grew  serious  as  school-time  ap- 
proached. 

One  day  Mickey  and  Augusta  were 
walking  through  the  woods  together, 
when  suddenly  he  stooped  towards  her 
and  whispered  something  softly  in  her 
ear  as  he  put  his  arm  on  her  shoulder. 

She  colored  like  an  autumn  peach,  but 
she  shook  her  head  and  replied,  "  No, 
Mike,  dear,  wait  till  you're  older — then 
maybe  you  can.  Mamma  says  we're 
altogether  too  young  now  for  such  non- 


sense." 


Poor  Mickey  stubbed  his  toe  and 
landed  with  his  face  in  an  oak-tree  just 
at  this  moment,  and  Augusta  laughed  so 

178 


Four  Hearts 

that  he  laughed  too ;  and  he  had  to  post- 
pone his  courtship. 

But  Tucker  Dan  was  doing  better  with 
Salvina  about  half  a  mile  back.  They 
were  sitting  on  a  log  together,  and  she 
was  speaking  softly. 

"  Tuck,"  she  said,  "  you  won  that  race 
in  great  style.  I  am  proud  of  you." 

To  his  credit  Tucker  Dan  winced  a 
little. 

"  But,"  she  continued,  "  I  think  Mickey 
helped  you.  Mickey  had  something  to  do 
with  that  turtle." 

"  Mickey  won  the  race  for  me,"  declared 
Tucker  in  an  outburst  of  confidence ; "  but 
don't  give  it  away." 

"  I  guess  not,"  she  retorted  earnestly ; 
"  don't  I  know  it  was  you  that  schemed 
it  out?  You've  got  a  great  head, 
Tuck." 

Tucker  saw  that  things  were  right  with 
Salvina,  so  he  drawled,  "  I'm  glad  we  did 
179 


Tucker  Dan 

it  anyhow ;  otherwise  I  wouldn't  be  here 
with  you — see  ?  " 

She  blushed.  "I'm  glad  you  did," 
she  assented.  "  You  made  Hen  Budd 
sick." 

"  Yep ;  we  were  regular  kids  last 
spring,"  he  said,  reminiscently. 

"  Kids,"  she  laughed  merrily.  "What 
are  you  now,  Tuck  ?  We're  all  boys  and 
girls." 

"  No,"  exclaimed  Tuck  bravely ;  "  no,  I 
am  most  a  man,  and  I  love  you — I  love 
you  awfully  much." 

Salvina  sprang  to  her  feet,  the  bright 
glow  of  the  evening  sun  playing  gently 
upon  her  pretty  face,  and  walking  towards 
her  companion  with  the  grace  of  the 
coming  woman  she  seized  him  by  the 
hand  and  helped  him  up. 

"I'm  so  glad,"  she  whispered  gently. 
"  Come,  Tuck,  let's  go  home  together — 
you  and  I." 

180 


Four  Hearts 

Thus  they  walked  together  towards  her 
home, — he,  serious,  boyish,  casting  loving 
glances  at  her — she,  looking  down  and 
saying  softly  with  the  tender  tones  of  the 
woman  that  was  to  be — "  you  and  I, 
Tucker — you  and  I." 

Arriving  at  home,  they  found  Mickey 
and  Augusta,  still  unwilling  to  part. 

They  chatted  a  few  moments,  and  then 
Tucker  remarked  to  the  girls  as  he  and 
Mickey  started  to  go, 

"Say,  girls,  Aunt  A.  A.  is  going  to 
give  me  a  birthday  dinner  next  Monday, 
and  she's  going  to  invite  just  a  few. 
You'll  both  come,  sure,  won't  you?  " 

"  Who  else  is  coming  ?  "  queried  Au- 
gusta. 

"  Will  it  be  sober  ?  "  chimed  Salvina, 
with  a  twinkle  in  her  eye. 

"  Doc  Nash  is  coming,  sure,"  exclaimed 
Tucker ;  "  an'  he's  enough  to  keep  it 
sober  all  right.  Nunc  Binny  is  going  to 
181 


Tucker  Dan 

give  him  a  trunk  for  a  chair,  and  the 
trunk  is  going  to  be  filled  with  bricks  so 
Doc  can't  fall  through." 

The  girls  chortled  in  chorus,  "  We'll  be 
there ;  "  and,  laughing,  they  ran  together 
into  the  house. 

Mickey  and  Tucker  walked  back  into 
the  woods  and  sat  on  a  log. 

"What  luck,  Tuck?"  queried  Mick 
with  a  sigh. 

"Oh,  it's  all  fixed,  old  man  ; — we'll  be 
married  some  day,"  was  Tucker  Dan's 
drawling  answer. 

Then  he  looked  at  Mickey  out  of  the 
corner  of  his  eye. 

"What  happened  to  you?  You  look 
rejected,"  he  remarked. 

"  Me  fut  I  I  stubbed  me  fut  just  when 
I  was  getting  close  to  me  subject,  and  me 
face  landed  on  the  trunk  of  a  tree — and 
she  laughed,  she  did." 

"Oh,  gosh!"  bawled  Tuck.  "Your 
182 


Four  Hearts 

darned  fut.     Your  fut — take   it  to   Doc 
Nash  and  get  it  amputated." 

Then  he  took  pity  on  poor  Mickey, 
and  putting  his  arm  on  his  shoulder, 
continued, 

"  Never  mind,  Mick.  I  got  something 
for  you  to  do  for  the  dinner." 

Mickey  brightened.     "  What  ?  " 

"  Read  up  on  tarantulas.  Get  a  book 
and  study  'em." 

"  Ain't  ever  seen  any.  Do  they  eat 
'em?" 

"Naw — they're  spiders.  I  want  the 
conversation  to  turn  on  tarantulas. 
Look  'em  up  in  the  books." 

Mickey  looked  in  amazement  at 
Tucker  and  started  homeward  in  disgust. 

"  Look  here,  Mick,"  said  Tuck,  "  you 
read  up  on  tarantulas.  And  you  get  me 
a  mouse,  too.  I  want  a  mouse." 

"  Mouse  ?  What's  tarantulas  got  to  do 
with  a  mouse?" 

183 


Tucker  Dan 

"  You  be  darned !  You  do  as  I  tell 
you,  Mick.  You  get  a  mouse — mouse — 
mouse  !  " 

Mickey's  eyes  began  to  bulge  in  ex- 
pectancy, and  Tucker  added  mysteriously 
— "  You  bring  me  that  mouse.  I  got  a 
trap  with  a  sliding  door  in  it." 

"Honest?" 

"Yep." 

"  Tucker  Dan,  I'll  get  you  that  mouse 
if  I  have  to  do  an  autopsy  on  a  cat ; " 
and  Mickey  ambled  off. 


184 


CHAPTER  FOURTEEN 

TUCK'S  DINNER 

ONDAY  came  bright  and  gay, 
and  Mickey  arrived  with  a 
mouse  which  Tucker  and  he 
put  carefully  in  the  trap. 

They  held  a  short  con- 
sultation in  the  barn,  and 
then  went  indoors  to  help 
Aunt  Amy  get  the  things  on  the  dinner 
table. 

The  guests  were  all  in  the  parlor ;  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Martin  and  the  twins,  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Connor,  and  Dr.  Nash.  Nunc 
Binny  was  stepping  round  with  a  broad 
smile  and  a  happy  sermon  in  his  face, 
and  Dr.  Nash  was  standing  in  the  centre 
of  the  room  wondering  which  way  to 
turn  without  having  a  collision  with 
185 


Tucker  Dan 

some  article  of  less  resistance.  The 
twins  were  whispering  in  the  corner  and 
watching  the  boys  in  the  dining-room, 
while  the  boys  themselves  were  busy  put- 
ting something  under  the  table  and  keep- 
ing Aunt  Amy  in  the  dark  as  to  what 
was  being  done. 

Then  everybody  marched  in  to  dinner, 
and  Nunc  Binny  apologized  for  seating 
Dr.  Nash  on  a  loaded  trunk ;  the  physi- 
cian took  it  gracefully  and  said  if  they 
had  offered  him  anything  else  to  sit  on, 
except  the  piano,  he  would  have  stood  up. 
Then  he  told  how  he  had  had  to  have 
his  carriage  made  to  order  out  of  planks, 
and  how  his  office  chair  was  growing 
smaller  every  day  because  the  fool  manu- 
facturers had  refused  to  put  reefs  in  as  he 
had  requested. 

Everybody  felt  gay.  Tucker  Dan  sat 
on  the  right  of  the  doctor,  and  Mickey 
sat  sandwiched  between  the  twins  over 
186 


Tuck's  Dinner 

opposite.  Aunt  Amy  presided  at  the 
head  of  the  table  because  Nunc  Binny 
"  hated  so  like  thunder  to  do  the  carv- 
ing." All  were  attired  in  their  best  and 
Nunc  Binny  had  brilliantined  his  bald 
head  specially  for  the  occasion. 

Aunt  Amy  said  grace,  giving  thanks 
for  what  had  come,  and  for  what  was 
coming,  even  if  it  was  always  to  be  but  a 
small  favor.  Mick  looked  at  Tucker  and 
wondered  if  he  had  understood  that  small 
favors  were  always  acceptable  to  Aunt 
Amy ;  Tuck  looked  at  Mick  and  started 
the  conversation  by  remarking  that  fish- 
ing was  good,  in  the  lake  back  of  the 
house.  Doc  Nash  chimed  in  and  said 
that  the  last  time  he  went  fishing  on  that 
lake  was  twenty-seven  years  before,  and 
that  Nunc  Binny  was  with  him  then  but 
wouldn't  stay  because  he  wanted  to  see 
Aunt  Amy  home  from  kindergarten. 
Aunt  Amy  mentally  figured  out  that 
187 


Tucker  Dan 

that  proved  she  wasn't  over  thirty  now 
and  smiled  like  a  pleased  child  at  the 
doctor. 

Mr.  Martin  remarked  that  time  flew, 
and  that  he  couldn't  realize  it  was  so 
long  ago  that  he  was  escorting  Mrs. 
Martin  home  from  the  same  kindergarten. 
Mrs.  Martin  was  years  older  than  Aunt 
Amy,  and  she  enjoyed  the  chronological 
lie,  too.  Every  one  knew  that  every  one 
else  was  bluffing  and  felt  happy ;  as  a 
matter-of-fact  neither  of  the  ladies  was  a 
day  under  forty. 

But  the  crowd  got  to  devouring  the 
beefsteak  finally,  and  Salvina  nearly 
choked  herself  wondering  what  Tuck  was 
going  to  do.  There  was  a  brief  lull  in 
the  conversation  while  the  doctor  asked 
for  a  third  cut,  remarking  that  men  of 
his  size  couldn't  stand  on  ceremony,  and 
that  nature  had  to  be  fed. 

Then  Tuck  caught  his  friend's  eye, 
188 


Tuck's  Dinner 

and  Michael  Connor  edged  in  a 
word. 

"Ever  see  a  tarantula,  Doc?"  he 
queried.  "  You've  been  in  the  South, 
ain't  yer?" 

Dr.  Nash  braced  up.  "  Surely,"  he  said, 
"surely;  I've  seen  lots  of  them  in  the 
Indies." 

Mickey  felt  nervous. 

"  Do  they  sting  ?  " 

"Do  they  sting?  Well  now  I  don't 
know  whether  they  sting  or  bite,  but 
they're  awful  when  they  get  in  their 
work.  They  are  killers." 

"What  do  they  look  like,  Doc?" 
queried  Tuck. 

"  They  look  like  hairy  crabs  with  fuzzy 
legs.  They're  really  spiders — awful  big 
ones.  They  walk  right  up,  crawl  silently 
around  your  ankles,  and  before  you  know 
it  they  hook  on." 

Dr.  Nash  was  helping  the  game 
189 


Tucker  Dan 

along  beautifully,  but  he  didn't  know 
it. 

Aunt  Amy  and  the  girl  had  just 
cleared  off  the  table  and  brought  a 
magnificent  plum  pudding  for  dessert. 
Aunt  Amy  served  it  while  Mr.  Connor, 
senior,  who  had  grown  interested  in  ta- 
rantulas, remarked  that  he  saw  one 
once  with  a  body  as  big  as  a  hen's 
egg,  and  legs  as  long  as  his  fingers, 
come  out  of  a  bunch  of  bananas  from 
Jamaica. 

Everybody  shuddered,  and  Aunt  Amy 
looked  towards  a  bunch  of  bananas  hang- 
ing in  the  kitchen. 

Tuck,  seeing  his  opportunity,  suddenly 
dropped  his  jaw  and  looked  at  Nunc 
Binny  with  a  scared  expression. 

"  I  saw  a  terrible  big  spider  come  out 
of  that  bunch  of  bananas  in  the  kitchen 
the  other  day ;  I  thought  it  was  a  ball  of 
black  yarn  at  first." 

190 


Tuck's  Dinner 

Uncle  Binny  looked  worried.  "  Where 
did  it  go,  Tuck?" 

"  It  walked  sideways  into  the  hole  on 
the  porch.  Do  you  suppose  it  was  a 
tarantula,  Nunc?" 

"  No — impossible.     Imagination  !  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  mused  Mickey  in 
turn.  "  I  saw  a  big  thing  like  a  spider 
just  now  in  the  kitchen — that's  why  I 
asked  about  tarantulas." 

Both  the  fabricators  kept  sober  faces, 
and  the  ladies  were  already  fussing 
around  their  skirts. 

Tucker  frowned  at  Mickey  ;  it  was  the 
signal  agreed  upon,  and  Mick  pulled  a 
string  that  opened  the  trap  under  the 
table.  The  mouse,  whose  foot  was  at- 
tached to  the  trap  by  a  long  piece  of 
thread,  meandered  forth  silently  and 
gazed  at  the  row  of  ankles  beneath  the 
table. 

Tuck  asked  for  some  water  and  Aunt 
191 


Tucker  Dan 

Amy  filled  his  glass,  while  Dr.  Nash 
started  to  tell  a  story. 

Then  the  mouse  got  busy. 

Aunt  Amy  felt  a  gentle  tug  at  her 
ankle— and  thought  hard.  She  looked 
suddenly  sick,  and  then  Tuck  knew  the 
scheme  was  all  right. 

Next  moment  Aunt  Amy  felt  a  some- 
thing certainly  crawling  on  her  ankle. 
She  quit  thinking  then  and  there,  and 
jumping  gracefully  upon  the  chair  with 
both  feet,  swung  her  right  heel  and 
landed  right  in  the  centre  of  the  plum 
pudding,  yelling,  "I've  got  'em — taran- 
tulas ! " 

Everybody  stood  up  at  once  as  she 
butted  her  head  on  the  table. 

Dr.  Nash  responded  promptly  and 
seized  Aunt  Amy  gently  but  firmly. 

"  Hysterics,  ladies  and  gentlemen,"  he 
said  ;  "  too  much  tarantula  talk." 

Poor  Aunt  Amy  quieted  down  after  a 
192 


Tack's  Dinner 

minute,   and  the   mouse   reached   Nunc 
Binny's  ankle  for  a  change. 

"  Hysterics  be  damned,"  he  shouted  as 
he  vaulted  over  the  table.  "  It's  taran- 
tulas ! "  The  finishings  of  the  dinner 
came  after  him  onto  the  floor  and  the 
boys  started  to  pick  him  up. 

Now  Dr.  Nash  felt  a  bite.  He  jumped 
hastily  for  the  door,  but  reconsidered,  as 
it  was  too  far,  and  putting  one  leg  out  of 
the  window,  started  to  pull  the  other  after 
him,  but  couldn't. 

Everybody  looked  at  him  in  amaze- 
ment, and  Tuck  inquired, 

"What's  the  matter,  Doc?" 

"  Shove  my  leg  out  of  the  window,  will 
you  ?  "  he  cried.  "  I've  got  an  important 
engagement." 

He  fell  out  with  the  boys'  aid,  and  the 
others  who  had  partly  recovered  saw  him 
disappear  across  the  fields  like  a  hunted 
bear. 

193 


Tucker  Dan 

Then  everybody  went  to  wondering 
what  it  was  they  had  felt  until  they  dis- 
covered the  trap ; — then  they  looked 
for  Tucker  and  his  friend  Mickey. 

They  couldn't  be  found.  They  were 
in  the  woods,  where  Mickey  was  remark- 
ing, 

"  That  there  mouse  must  have  broke 

loose,  Tuck.     Doc  has  got  him,  I  guess. 
Did  yer  ever  see  such  a  stunt,  Pils?  " 

"  It  went  too  far.  I  thought  it  would 
go  to  Nunc  Binny — he  was  the  nearest." 

11  Sure,"  assented  Mick.  "  Yer  ain't  re- 
sponsible for  all  a  mouse  does." 

"  That  depends  upon  what  Nunc  Binny 
thinks,"  smiled  Tucker  Dan  ;  "  but  it  was 
the  best  we  ever  did,  Mick, — and  it's  my 
last." 

Just  then  Mr.  Binny  came  running  from 
the  house,  and  the  pair  heard  him  shout- 
ing, "  Dr.  Nash  is  wanted — find  him, 
somebody ! " 

194 


Tuck's  Dinner 

It  was  a  truce  for  a  while ;  the  boys 
came  out  of  hiding  and  with  Nunc  Binny 
started  after  the  doctor. 

"  There's  a  terrible  accident  on  the  rail- 
road, boys.  Dr.  Nash's  office  just  'phoned 
us.  His  horse  is  being  hitched  now. — 
Hurry ! " 

They  scoured  the  woods  and  the  fields 
near  by,  then  from  a  rolling  hill  they  took 
in  the  landscape. 

"  There's  something  like  a  cow  sitting 
down  way  over  there,"  exclaimed  Nunc 
Binny. 

"  It's  Doc  Nash  on  a  stump,"  corrected 
the  boys.  "  He's  resting." 

They  reached  him  finally.  He  was  all 
played  out ;  his  face  was  beaded  with 
sweat,  and  he  looked  half  scared  to  death. 

"  What's  the  matter  ?  "  exclaimed  Uncle 
Binny. 

"  Matter — matter  I  Do  you  suppose  I 
wanted  everybody  to  see  me  cavorting 
195 


Tucker  Dan 

round  like  a  fool.  I  came  out  here  to 
cavort,  you  idiot; — I've  got  tarantulas. 
Darn  'em — I'm  sitting  on  'em." 

"  Well,  Doc,  you'd  better  move  along. 
There's  an  accident,  and  your  team  will 
be  at  my  place  in  a  few  minutes.  The 
calls  of  humanity  are  shrieking  for  you." 

"  Let  'em  yell — let  'em  holler  !  I'm 
sorry  for  the  unfortunates,  but  doggone 
it — I  am  delayed  on  a  pressing  engage- 
ment. I'm  pressing  tarantulas  !  —  I 
don't  dare  move." 

Tucker  and  Mickey  began  to  laugh, 
and  Mr.  Binny  remarked, 

"  It's  only  hysterics,  doctor." 

"  Hysterics  be  darned  !  I  know  a  bite 
— a  dozen  bites — from  hysterics,  you 
bald-headed  loon." 

"  How  many  tarantulas  do  you  sup- 
pose there  were,  Tucker  ?  "  queried  the 
doctor,  more  quietly. 

"We  found  eleven  tarantula  nests  on 
196 


Tack's  Dinner 

* 

the  bunch  of  bananas,  Doc,"  answered  the 
boy  with  a  serious  face. 

"  Eleven — by  gosh.  I've  got  'em  all 
then.  I've  got  a  regiment  of  animals 
under  me." 

Tucker  saw  the  doctor's  team  in  the 
distance  and  relented.  "  It  ain't  taran- 
tulas. It's  only  one  mouse,  Doc.  Mick 
and  I  were  having  fun." 

After  a  long  minute  the  physician  got 
up  and  shook  himself,  and  a  weak  mouse 
trotted  off  into  the  corn-field. 

Then  Dr.  Nash  seized  Tucker  Dan  and 
Mickey  by  the  collars  and  said,  suppress- 
ing his  appreciation  of  the  joke  as  well  as 
he  could, 

"  Will  you  two  swear  not  to  tell  about 
this  ?  If  you  do  it  will  hurt  my  busi- 
ness." 

Neither  boy  swore. 

"  If  you  swear,  Nunc  Binny  won't  whip 
you." 

197 


Tucker  Dan 

Neither  boy  said  a  word. 

"  If  you  don't  swear,  I'll  fix  you — you 
pirates.  You  forget  I've  got  your  records. 
I'm  on  the  Board  of  Health ;  and  I'll 
have  you  vaccinated  where  it  will  hurt 
like  the  dickens  to  slide  to  second  base. 
No  more  baseball  this  year." 

Tucker  Dan  threw  up  his  right  hand. 
"  I  swear,"  he  said. 

Mickey  threw  up  both  hands.  "  Me 
too,"  he  murmured  ;  "  me  too." 

When  they  got  back  to  the  house  the 
team  was  just  arriving,  and  all  the  others 
of  the  party  were  on  the  porch. 

Dr.  Nash,  his  face  no  longer  showing 
suppressed  levity  but  grave  and  earnest, 
the  face  of  the  man  ready  for  any  emer- 
gency, jumped  into  the  carriage  with 
amazing  agility  for  one  of  his  size. 

"  Remember,  boys,"  he  said  warningly, 
— "  remember  !  "     and     turning    to    his 
driver  calmly  ordered, 
198 


Tack's  Dinner 

"  Jim,  drive  like  Sam  Hill." 

They  watched  him  disappear  in  the 
distance  at  a  fearful  speed,  and  Mr. 
Martin  remarked,  "  Doctor  is  a  nice  fel- 
low." 

"  Yes,"  assented  Aunt  Amy  as  she  put 
her  arms  on  Binny's  shoulders,  "  he's  just 
like  this  fellow.  He's  nice — and  a  '  dead 
game  sport.' ' 

They  all  chuckled. 

"You  bet.  No  flies  on  Doc — and  no 
tarantulas"  grinned  Tucker  Dan. 

THE    END 


199 


A     000127571     8 


